WHY SPENDING TIME ALONE MATTERS?

 

While humans are a social species who naturally crave relationships and social interaction, solitude can often be a necessary counter-balance to our busy and hectic social world. If you find yourself daydreaming about being alone on a deserted island, I’m going bet you aren’t incorporating enough alone time or “me time” into your life. Set aside a few minutes each day to be alone with your thoughts — just 10 minutes a day can help. Silence your electronics and allow yourself to think for a few minutes. If you aren’t used to solitude, it can feel uncomfortable at first. But creating that quiet time for yourself could be key to becoming the best version of yourself.

Spending time alone gives us a better understanding of who we are and what we desire in life. It also enables us to make better choices about who we want to be around. We also tend to become more appreciative of the relationships that we do have, and surely enhance their quality.

I have, in the past, written two blogs on the value of solitude and the subtle difference of being alone and being lonely. You can read them by clicking the following hyperlinks:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/02/the-value-of-solitud.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2023/04/being-alone-and-being-lonly-are-two.html

In another blog I had mentioned the value of idle relaxation in life and stressed the fact that it is certainly not equivalent to wasting time:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/06/idle-relaxation-is-not-wasting-time.html

Far too often these days, many people end up feeling overwhelmed, and thanks to social media it sometimes feels like there's no way to escape. However, it's extremely important to switch your phone off and get away from every other human being every so often. This is loneliness by your choice, solitude with a purpose, and not loneliness thrust upon you. Loneliness is a negative feeling of isolation, sadness, and is never by choice. But being alone and spending time with our own self is invariably by choice and it substantially adds to our mental growth. Alone time can be cultivated and made enjoyable and peaceful. 

So why do I choose to be lonely at times? It offers me the ideal period of silent emotional growth as I reconnect with myself. Being alone is never an idle moment, it is a time when I call out myself and seek answers, directions and explanations. Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques and an extreme form of spending time alone in complete solitude. It was popularized 2500 years ago by Gautam Buddha. Vipassana means "to see things as they really are". It is a logical process of mental purification through self-observation. There are many benefits of spending quality time with one’s self:

 

1. It fights stress

Being alone and feeling bored deactivates the areas in your brain that promote heightened awareness, which can help lower stress levels. Boredom helps calm your brain down and can help you regulate your emotions a lot better.

2. It helps me unwind

Spending time alone is a brilliant way to recharge my mind and body. This is how I feel most relaxed. 'Reading' comes in 2nd place and 'being in nature' comes 3rd.

3. It wards off depression

It may seem counterintuitive, but spending time alone has actually been found to tackle depression. Studies from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign revealed that the risk of depression is significantly decreased for those who enjoy spending time alone. Additionally, they also found that people who enjoy being alone are far less likely to suffer from depression at any point in their lives.

4. It boosts my mental strength

Many people get nervous when they have to be alone for a long time. However, we really should start to do it more often, since forcing oneself to sit through extended periods of solitude will fortify mental strength.

5. It makes me more compassionate

Solitude help people gain a better understanding of the struggles and experiences of others, which can help them become more sincerely compassionate throughout their lives.

6. It is creative time

If one wants to become more creative, then there's no better way than spending time alone. The more bored one gets, the more creative they become, since the human mind will start coming up with loads of different ways of keeping yourself entertained, and since one is alone there will be nobody around to distract. Without the need to care for or interact with other people, you can ignore outside influences and focus inward. Archimedes was alone in a bath tub when he discovered the principle of buoyancy, as he immersed himself in the tub the water level rose and it at once clicked! Eureka! He had discovered the Archimedes Principle! 

7. It makes me self reliant

If you always rely on others for assistance, opinions, and advice, then you might end up becoming partially-dependent on others, which won't allow you to become self-reliant. If I want to feel a sense of independence, I'll need to start making decisions on my own, which is something that spending time alone forces me to do.

8. It improves my concentration

Interruptions and distractions are an inevitable part of our day-to-day life, from the daily barrage of emails to friends and family messaging us to see when we're free to meet up. Setting aside some proper alone time will allows me to cut out most of these disturbances, letting me get on with the task at hand – write a paper or a blog, take a correspondence course on AI, devour a book or listen to my favourite music. Me time also improves my memory and concentration, and I invariably plan a better life.

9. It improves me memory

Spending time alone also boosts my memory. In fact, people remember the key details of tasks they completed by themselves in far more detail than those they completed with the help of others.

10. It strengthens my relationships

Being alone has helped me gain a better understanding of who I am. Such self-knowledge is absolutely essential if you want any of your long-term relationships to work out. After all, if you don't even understand yourself, how can you expect to truly understand the needs and desires of another person?

11. It improves personal exploration

Taking some time for myself allows me to explore my own passions, free from the pressures and judgments of others. Having time to myself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focous on yourself

But, it is not easy to be alone!

Solitude can be challenging for some people for a variety of reasons. 

• Lack of experience being alone: Some people might not be used to being alone because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected. 
• Distressing thoughts and feelings: In other cases, being alone and focusing inward can be difficult or even painful. People might find this introspection distressing or engaging in rumination and worry.
• Social stigma: Stigma about being alone can also shape how people feel about solitude. For those who have been exposed to negative attitudes towards being alone or who see it as a form of antisocial behavior or social rejection, solitude can seem like a painful form of punishment.

While loneliness by compulsion of  habits and circumstances can be very disturbing, the occasional ‘me time’ by choice is a wonderful thing.  If we are less likely to know our neighbours and less likely to have dependable friends the problem is with us; we are creating boundaries around ourselves and sequestrating ourselves into loneliness. Being alone, on the other hand, is an occasional choice which we make to recharge ourselves.