HAPPINESS IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE, MAKE IT

 

Happiness is a choice which we all have. We can be happy if we choose to be so. We all want to be happy, at least part of the time, but unfortunately it isn’t so simple for us, and in fact, most of us tend to seek happiness in the wrong places or let it slip through our fingers without noticing. Part of the reason for this is habits that we have created for ourselves which are difficult to get rid of, and although not all of them are completely bad, we must examine the things we do regularly and see if there are changes that we can make which will benefit us.

 

Some times back I wrote a blog on ‘A plan to avoid regrets in life’, along the same lines. If you have missed it, please click: https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2026/02/a-plan-to-avoid-regrets-in-life.html

 

As happiness is in the jourey of life and not in any fantastic destination, being happy is not at all difficult and every one of us can make a concious effort to be happy. Have you seen the smiling faces of the labourer in the construction site, the cobber in the street corner, the farmer in the fields, the green grosser in the market and the rickshaw puller in the street? They all are leading a far difficult life and are still happy. So, what is wrong with us? There are some habits that you, like many of us, may have adopted for yourself and should change if you want to keep happiness at your side.

 

1. You refuse to change your life

When we stop learning, we stop growing and developing, and as a result remain mentally stuck. The best way to learn is to challenge ourselves and put fear aside. At the same time remember what you believe in, but make sure to keep an open mind which will help you learn new things about yourself and life. Note that this is the biggest and most significant change most of us have to make in order to gain true happiness.

 

2. You oppose the direction in which life is pushing you

Nothing weighs more on the mind than trying to resist the direction in which life is pushing us. Any change in our way of life sometimes brings with it some pain or discomfort, but nothing will hurt your soul more than doing something it doesn’t want or need for the rest of your life. Small changes occur in our lives every day that we don’t pay attention to - some positive and some negative - and if we look back on the past year we’ll realize how true this is. This is life, and we have to accept it and move forward instead of being afraid and being stuck in a situation that doesn’t make us happy.

 

3. You allow other people to decide what you can do

Close your ears and don’t listen to any negative and harmful comments that come from people you don’t really care for. You know yourself and your plans for life, so don’t let their words make you give up. Most of the time what they say only reflects what they feel about themselves, and therefore their words deserve no headspace. Their life is different from your life because they are different, they are not you.

 

4. You focus more on other’s lives than on your own

You can spend your whole life trying to help someone else live happily ever after, and even if you enjoy it, if you’re neglecting yourself you’ll see that over time your ambitions and dreams, and the thought that you have done nothing to fulfill them, will bother you more and more. Be happy for the people who are dear to you, but don’t let others realize their dreams at your own expense - learn how to invest in yourself.

 

5. You think about your problems too much

Life is full of difficulties, but most of the time we’re not faced with big obstacles, rather tiny bumps. The difference is in the way we look at the challenges that face us, and the more we change our attitude, the smaller the difficulty becomes. Keep a positive attitude and everything will be fine - you have the power to control your thoughts, and they will lead you to a solution if you just stop thinking about your difficulties as "big problems." Concentrate on your goals and you will see that on the way the problems will dissipate themselves, or at least become minor.

 

6. You try to be right all the time

Anyone who tries to be right is always learning nothing - not only does it ruin relationships, it also allows your pride to sabotage your future. Sometimes you have to choose to admit that you are wrong, and this is a very important ability in maintaining a good relationship. You can do this with the same self-confidence that tells you that you are right - just remind yourself that every person is wrong sometimes and that it's okay, and that you're no different in that perspective from anyone else in the world.

 

7. You refuse to let go of a person who is trying to distance themselves from you

Good relationships are part of what makes us happy over the years, but we need to make sure that the person we want close to us wants to be close to us. There is no logic in trying to force a person who doesn’t want our company to spend time with us or even keep in touch with us. So, don’t waste your time proving how wonderful and deserving of attention you are - if a person can’t see it for themselves, it's their problem. Spend your time and energy on people who really want to spend time with you just as you are.

 

8. You love others more than yourself

We should share love with people who are dear to our hearts but remember to love yourself too. There is nothing wrong with loving who you are, and you probably won’t be able to help others if you don’t take care of yourself. So, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about loving yourself in your own way - you can be truly happy only if you love the person you spend the most time with– and that’s you!

 

9. You are too self-centered

Conversely, you can’t spend your whole life with just yourself, there are other people in this world. If you only do for yourself, you’ll be left alone, while giving to others is one of the things that give true happiness to the soul - that is what will make you smile at the end of each day. Giving helps us feel that we can make a positive difference in the world, even if it’s the smallest good deed between two people. So, ask yourself how your goals will help you give back to others or society, and work on fulfilling them.

 

10. You expect everyone to love you all the time

You need to understand that not everyone you meet will like you immediately, and not everyone will want to spend time with you. Furthermore, not everyone will be nice to you, and that's fine - just accept it and move on. Don’t waste your time trying to convince others to love or accept you, and instead, be open to the love that the people closest to you want to give you - just don’t forget to give them the same love back.

 

11. You refuse to let go of the past

Each one of us must let go of your past pain to grain true happiness in the present and in the future. If you try to cling to things that once happened and ruin your current mood, you’re actually trying to control and change something that can’t be. Instead, try to create something new based on your life experience, and learn from the past instead of just suffering from it.

 

12. You are waiting for happiness

Happiness is not an event that takes place sometime in the course of life, and it is also not an achievement that once reached stays with us forever. You must be happy in the present moment, whether at home, with friends, or at work. Don’t wait for something to happen that will bring happiness with it, but rather choose to feel it in order to achieve it. This positive approach will help you achieve your goal, where the journey is an essential part of the process, and if you’ve already started the journey be happy about it.

 

Life is made up of ups and downs and we have to be ready for it to undergo various changes without being badly hurt. Even if you don’t want to do this, you should understand that temporary discomfort is good for you and your soul in the long run, and it is precisely these processes that are supposed make you feel satisfied in life. Accept the changes life brings with it and work on the results you want to see - with a positive attitude.