ARE YOU A GOOD PERSON?

 

Isn't that what Santa has always asked you every Christmas? Have you been a good boy/girl? There is no test that determines how good of a person someone is, so we are all left wondering if what we do is right or wrong all the time. Some people, who are moral philosophers, turned this kind of wondering into a whole profession, but even they aren’t completely certain how to define a good person. Still, there are certain tell-tale signs that can reveal a good person. It turns out that how you communicate with others and how you react in difficult life situations, how you listen, help and respect, say a lot about your moral stance. So let us find out if we are a good person after all:

 

1. You have empathy

Being a genuinely good person often starts with understanding and sharing the feelings of others. This is known as empathy. Empathy is more than just being nice; it’s truly feeling for others in their time of need. Let’s say your friend has just gone through a tough breakup, and they’re feeling pretty low. A good person doesn’t just offer a shoulder to cry on; they feel their friend’s pain, they take the time to listen, and understand the situation from their friend’s perspective. This is because empathy means stepping into someone else’s shoes and feeling what they’re feeling. It’s not solving their problems or giving advice; it’s being present and sharing in their experience.

 

2. You are Driven by Good Intentions, Love and Compassion

We all make mistakes from time to time, and we have a tendency to really beat ourselves up every time something we said or did hurt another person, even when it was absolutely unintentional. The truth is, there is no reason for you to think that you are a bad person because of a minor mistake you did, as you intentions are what matters the most.

In fact, moral philosophers and psychologists alike assure readers that having positive intentions is a sure sign you might be a better person than you might think. When you act out of courage, patience, love, compassion and willingness to help, and let these positive intentions drive your life, you become a more centered, genuine, and simply a better person.

 

3. You Consider Yourself a Good Person

Morality, like so many other things in this world, is relative. Of course, we all agree on the basics: killing, stealing and cheating are all very bad and immoral things, but then again, in our day-to-day life, we don’t usually deal with either of those, and the smaller everyday moral dilemmas are what define our personal moral compass. I will give you an example; pathology and radiology clinics often send a small amount of money to the referring doctors. Some of us do not accept it and some of us do. So our morality meters are tuned differently. Let me now make it a bit more complex; if for you a good person is a caring person, and for someone else, a good person is someone who gives others enough space to work through their own problems, your ideas may clash. The bottom line is that a good person is one that has a multitude of different, sometimes opposing, characteristics, and the fact that you don’t meet one of those characteristics doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Instead of adopting this binary approach, which can be toxic to your self-esteem, let us define a good person using 3-5 words, and if you apply to most, you can consider yourself a (relatively) good person. So, if you believe that a good person has to be friendly, helpful, thoughtful and generous, but you are an introvert and find it difficult to communicate with others, you can still consider yourself a good person. Try to do this exercise on your own, and you might just be surprised to hear the answer.

 

4. You Recognize Your Biases and Mistakes

No one is perfect, but how you react to your own mistakes and whether or not you can recognize your own biases can tell a lot about the kind of person you are. Dolly Chugh, a psychologist at New York University describes this very well in one of her books, where she points out that it’s better to confront the mistakes we’ve made and to even seem less perfect in the eyes of others than to deny said mistake. She calls this category of people “goodish”, as they are able to see that they’re not perfect, but they actively try to improve. In fact, most people are not 100% good or bad, but goodish, as they are constantly learning from their own mistakes, while still making new ones.

 

5. You Make Time both for Yourself and Others

Helping and supporting other people is a known virtue, there is no argument there. As medical professionals helping people is an ingrained human quality in us that has many psychological and physical health benefits. It lifts our mood and give us a sense of meaning and purpose, both of which are very important for a happy life. That being said, you don’t have to dedicate all of your time and effort to help others to be a good person. In fact, a little bit of “selfishness”, or let us call it “self care”, can even be beneficial, as all of us need a little bit of rest and relaxation from time to time. In fact, most people enjoy helping others more when they have their own lives sorted out first.

 

6. You are ready to Learn from Your Mistakes and Life's Challenges

When it comes to overcoming difficulties, people are divided into 2 categories: those who surrender and those who perceive life’s challenges as that they are (challenges). The more you are capable to take the active stance of the two, the better you become as a person, professional, parent. This “ growth mindset”, by the virtue of which people who believe they can improve in life and overcome obstacles are destined to develop their talents and life skills. So, if you find that you can learn from your mistakes and you feel like you’ve changed and evolved a lot through the years, you are better than you might think.

 

7. In Relationships, You Take Responsibility for Your Actions and Communicate

If you manage to maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with others, you are likely a better person than you think. Do you treat your friends and loved ones with respect; do you stay in touch with them and can take responsibility for your actions? If so, you are a terrific person to be around, and your family and friends cherish you for the caring and attentive person that you are. What else could you wish for? If you can be assertive without being aggressive, supportive without rescuing other people, and if you can be vulnerable without expecting people to save you, you must be a good person.

8. You are kind without expecting anything in return

Good acts and deeds come to you naturally. Your parents taught you and they have remained with you.  You are at the grocery store, just doing your regular shopping. There was a woman ahead of you in the line, juggling her wailing toddler and trying to unload her cart onto the check out desk for billing. Without thinking twice, you step up and started helping her. It was a small act. No big deal, right? But here’s the thing: You didn’t do it to get a thank you or to get any sort of recognition. You did it because it felt like the right thing to do. It felt good to be of help to someone in need. In psychology, this is referred to as altruism—the selfless concern for the well-being of others. And don’t tell me your mother did not teach you that.

 

9. You show genuine appreciation for others

Not just because it makes you feel good, but because it’s also linked to positive relationships, happiness, and even better physical health. Take a moment and think about the last time you said thank you. Not just a quick, automatic ‘thanks’, but a genuine expression of gratitude. Maybe it was for something big, like a friend helping you move. Or maybe it was for something small, like someone holding the door open for you. The point is, if you’re someone who takes the time to express gratitude and really mean it, then you’re likely a genuinely good person, because showing appreciation isn’t just being polite or following social norms. It’s recognizing the value of others and cherishing the positive things in life.

 

10. You genuinely listen to others

Listening seems so simple. But I’m not talking about the kind of listening where you’re just waiting for your turn to speak. I’m talking about truly hearing what the other person has to say. Perhaps you’re the friend who can sit quietly while someone pours their heart out, not interrupting with your own stories or advice, but simply being there, present in their moment of need. Or maybe you’re the team man who can listen to a colleague’s ideas with an open mind, appreciating their perspective even if it differs from your own. In today’s fast-paced world, genuine listening is a rare skill.But if you have it, it’s a strong sign that you’re a genuinely good person. Because true listening shows that you value others, that you respect their thoughts and feelings, and that you’re willing to take the time to understand their point of view.

 

11. You respect others

Respect—it’s a small word, but it carries a lot of weight. Respecting others means acknowledging their worth. It means treating others the way you’d like to be treated, regardless of their status, appearance, or beliefs. If you’re consistently respectful towards others—not just those you like or agree with, but everyone you interact with—then, you’re likely a genuinely good person. Respect is more than just a sign of good manners. It’s a sign of a good heart.

 

None of us are perfect. All of us have our moments of lapses in judgment and moments of weaknesses. But what matters is that we acknowledge these moments, learn from them, and strive to do better next time. Take a moment to appreciate the goodness in you. Recognize your own worth and the impact you have on the world around you. And remember, being a good person isn’t always easy. It takes courage, humility, and a whole lot of empathy.

But trust me, it’s worth it. Not just for the difference you can make in others’ lives, but for the peace and fulfillment it brings to your own.