ARE YOU A GOOD PERSON?

 

Isn't that what Santa has always asked you every Christmas? Have you been a good boy/girl? There is no test that determines how good of a person someone is, so we are all left wondering if what we do is right or wrong all the time. Some people, who are moral philosophers, turned this kind of wondering into a whole profession, but even they aren’t completely certain how to define a good person. Still, there are certain tell-tale signs that can reveal a good person. It turns out that how you communicate with others and how you react in difficult life situations, how you listen, help and respect, say a lot about your moral stance. So let us find out if we are a good person after all:

 

1. You have empathy

Being a genuinely good person often starts with understanding and sharing the feelings of others. This is known as empathy. Empathy is more than just being nice; it’s truly feeling for others in their time of need. Let’s say your friend has just gone through a tough breakup, and they’re feeling pretty low. A good person doesn’t just offer a shoulder to cry on; they feel their friend’s pain, they take the time to listen, and understand the situation from their friend’s perspective. This is because empathy means stepping into someone else’s shoes and feeling what they’re feeling. It’s not solving their problems or giving advice; it’s being present and sharing in their experience.

 

2. You are Driven by Good Intentions, Love and Compassion

We all make mistakes from time to time, and we have a tendency to really beat ourselves up every time something we said or did hurt another person, even when it was absolutely unintentional. The truth is, there is no reason for you to think that you are a bad person because of a minor mistake you did, as you intentions are what matters the most.

In fact, moral philosophers and psychologists alike assure readers that having positive intentions is a sure sign you might be a better person than you might think. When you act out of courage, patience, love, compassion and willingness to help, and let these positive intentions drive your life, you become a more centered, genuine, and simply a better person.

 

3. You Consider Yourself a Good Person

Morality, like so many other things in this world, is relative. Of course, we all agree on the basics: killing, stealing and cheating are all very bad and immoral things, but then again, in our day-to-day life, we don’t usually deal with either of those, and the smaller everyday moral dilemmas are what define our personal moral compass. I will give you an example; pathology and radiology clinics often send a small amount of money to the referring doctors. Some of us do not accept it and some of us do. So our morality meters are tuned differently. Let me now make it a bit more complex; if for you a good person is a caring person, and for someone else, a good person is someone who gives others enough space to work through their own problems, your ideas may clash. The bottom line is that a good person is one that has a multitude of different, sometimes opposing, characteristics, and the fact that you don’t meet one of those characteristics doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Instead of adopting this binary approach, which can be toxic to your self-esteem, let us define a good person using 3-5 words, and if you apply to most, you can consider yourself a (relatively) good person. So, if you believe that a good person has to be friendly, helpful, thoughtful and generous, but you are an introvert and find it difficult to communicate with others, you can still consider yourself a good person. Try to do this exercise on your own, and you might just be surprised to hear the answer.

 

4. You Recognize Your Biases and Mistakes

No one is perfect, but how you react to your own mistakes and whether or not you can recognize your own biases can tell a lot about the kind of person you are. Dolly Chugh, a psychologist at New York University describes this very well in one of her books, where she points out that it’s better to confront the mistakes we’ve made and to even seem less perfect in the eyes of others than to deny said mistake. She calls this category of people “goodish”, as they are able to see that they’re not perfect, but they actively try to improve. In fact, most people are not 100% good or bad, but goodish, as they are constantly learning from their own mistakes, while still making new ones.

 

5. You Make Time both for Yourself and Others

Helping and supporting other people is a known virtue, there is no argument there. As medical professionals helping people is an ingrained human quality in us that has many psychological and physical health benefits. It lifts our mood and give us a sense of meaning and purpose, both of which are very important for a happy life. That being said, you don’t have to dedicate all of your time and effort to help others to be a good person. In fact, a little bit of “selfishness”, or let us call it “self care”, can even be beneficial, as all of us need a little bit of rest and relaxation from time to time. In fact, most people enjoy helping others more when they have their own lives sorted out first.

 

6. You are ready to Learn from Your Mistakes and Life's Challenges

When it comes to overcoming difficulties, people are divided into 2 categories: those who surrender and those who perceive life’s challenges as that they are (challenges). The more you are capable to take the active stance of the two, the better you become as a person, professional, parent. This “ growth mindset”, by the virtue of which people who believe they can improve in life and overcome obstacles are destined to develop their talents and life skills. So, if you find that you can learn from your mistakes and you feel like you’ve changed and evolved a lot through the years, you are better than you might think.

 

7. In Relationships, You Take Responsibility for Your Actions and Communicate

If you manage to maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with others, you are likely a better person than you think. Do you treat your friends and loved ones with respect; do you stay in touch with them and can take responsibility for your actions? If so, you are a terrific person to be around, and your family and friends cherish you for the caring and attentive person that you are. What else could you wish for? If you can be assertive without being aggressive, supportive without rescuing other people, and if you can be vulnerable without expecting people to save you, you must be a good person.

8. You are kind without expecting anything in return

Good acts and deeds come to you naturally. Your parents taught you and they have remained with you.  You are at the grocery store, just doing your regular shopping. There was a woman ahead of you in the line, juggling her wailing toddler and trying to unload her cart onto the check out desk for billing. Without thinking twice, you step up and started helping her. It was a small act. No big deal, right? But here’s the thing: You didn’t do it to get a thank you or to get any sort of recognition. You did it because it felt like the right thing to do. It felt good to be of help to someone in need. In psychology, this is referred to as altruism—the selfless concern for the well-being of others. And don’t tell me your mother did not teach you that.

 

9. You show genuine appreciation for others

Not just because it makes you feel good, but because it’s also linked to positive relationships, happiness, and even better physical health. Take a moment and think about the last time you said thank you. Not just a quick, automatic ‘thanks’, but a genuine expression of gratitude. Maybe it was for something big, like a friend helping you move. Or maybe it was for something small, like someone holding the door open for you. The point is, if you’re someone who takes the time to express gratitude and really mean it, then you’re likely a genuinely good person, because showing appreciation isn’t just being polite or following social norms. It’s recognizing the value of others and cherishing the positive things in life.

 

10. You genuinely listen to others

Listening seems so simple. But I’m not talking about the kind of listening where you’re just waiting for your turn to speak. I’m talking about truly hearing what the other person has to say. Perhaps you’re the friend who can sit quietly while someone pours their heart out, not interrupting with your own stories or advice, but simply being there, present in their moment of need. Or maybe you’re the team man who can listen to a colleague’s ideas with an open mind, appreciating their perspective even if it differs from your own. In today’s fast-paced world, genuine listening is a rare skill.But if you have it, it’s a strong sign that you’re a genuinely good person. Because true listening shows that you value others, that you respect their thoughts and feelings, and that you’re willing to take the time to understand their point of view.

 

11. You respect others

Respect—it’s a small word, but it carries a lot of weight. Respecting others means acknowledging their worth. It means treating others the way you’d like to be treated, regardless of their status, appearance, or beliefs. If you’re consistently respectful towards others—not just those you like or agree with, but everyone you interact with—then, you’re likely a genuinely good person. Respect is more than just a sign of good manners. It’s a sign of a good heart.

 

None of us are perfect. All of us have our moments of lapses in judgment and moments of weaknesses. But what matters is that we acknowledge these moments, learn from them, and strive to do better next time. Take a moment to appreciate the goodness in you. Recognize your own worth and the impact you have on the world around you. And remember, being a good person isn’t always easy. It takes courage, humility, and a whole lot of empathy.

But trust me, it’s worth it. Not just for the difference you can make in others’ lives, but for the peace and fulfillment it brings to your own.

A LECTURE SERIES ON PUBLICATION SKILLS - How to Publish a Paper

The The Gujarat Plastic Surgeons Association conducted a highly successful webinar on Scientific Paper Writing and Publishing, which was very well attended.

The speakers included esteemed past and present editors of the Indian Journal of Plastic Surgery. The following talks were delivered:

Study Designs – Dr. Dinesh Kadam

How to Write a Paper – Dr. Surajit Bhattacharya

How to Get a Paper Published – Dr. Mukund Thatte

The Logical Sequence of Writing a Paper – Dr. Surajit Bhattacharya

The talks were simple, easy to understand, and had a high impact.

The webinar covered a comprehensive range of topics, including:

• Why you should write a paper

• How to decide your study design

• Advantages and disadvantages of each design

• How to select your topic

• How to choose the right journal for submission

• Overcoming procrastination and starting the writing process

• How to respond to reviewers’ comments

• Promoting your published paper

• And more..

All these aspects were discussed in detail, making the session immensely valuable for budding researchers and seasoned authors alike.

Please find attached links to the videos by all the speakers.

Happy viewing!

Dr. Dinesh Kadam

https://youtu.be/7AQz5GUr0DU?si=8YfrWXEDzFqzoIpP

Dr. Surajit Bhattacharya

https://youtu.be/19kqlVVaADg?si=zyfnKxnyEPwz8Z1w

Dr. Mukund Thatta

https://youtu.be/U8qSQ4DpCy4?si=WT8c5pdkI9emdFTI

Dr. Surajit Bhattacharya

https://youtu.be/bF7ulVVDip0?si=Rmu2BRwdBpooPO4t

PAST IMPERFECT, BUT LET’S OWN IT UP

Heritage is that which has been inherited. This is implicit in the term ‘parampara’, also called tradition, which goes into the making of our culture and civilization. This heritage should not be thought of as static since each generation changes the content, sometimes substantially. This civilization heritage called ‘sanskriti’ or ‘shristhi’ when juxtaposed with ‘prakriti’ or natural heritage becomes cultural heritage. Societies that boast of multiple cultures like India need to be inclusive, not competitive. With every invasion however, the invaders tried to establish their own culture not by simply adding it to our tapestry but by destroying our temples, our universities and our heritage.

 

History is a continuous process of interaction between the historian and his facts, an unending dialogue between the present and past, a dynamic, dialectical process, which cannot be limited by mere empiricism or love of facts alone. In our case the invasion of the Muslim and Christian rulers were presented to us either by British historians or left liberal historians who unfortunately had vested interest in glorifying invaders and diminishing the prior achievements of native Indians. Macaulay’s concept of education for Indians was that we were barbarians before the English came and civilized us. Their ignorance about our heritage in the field of mathematics, astronomy, medicine, surgery, architecture, literature, music and dance was purposeful and unfortunately as the vanquished never gets the opportunity to write the history so our proud heritage was conveniently eclipsed and overlooked.

 

Efforts to date our civilization began with the Harappan culture in 2500 BC, the migration of Aryans to India in 1500 BC, the rise of Budhisim and Jainism around 486 and 468 BC, the invasion of Alexander the Great in 326 BC and the rise of the Great empires in North and South India thereafter, such as the Mauryas, the Guptas, as well as the Pallavas and the Chalukyas. Of particular significance were the visits by foreign chroniclers including Fa-Hsein in 405 AD and Hsuan Tsang in 630 AD. Their chronicles are important inputs in calculating eras, as they provide means of cross evidence in dating our ancient history. They were not the only visitors. After the raids of Mahmud of Ghazni in 997 AD, we were visited by Alberuni in 1030 AD and later the visit of Ibn Batutah around 1325 AD and others. This part of our history is referred to commonly as the Ancient and Medieval Indian periods and is hardly taught in schools.

 

Our ancient Indian culture continued intact despite the invasions from 10th century onwards, which impacted on the evolution of a heterogeneous Indian culture. The invasion by the Turks, Persians and the Afghans brought in trade, a new style of culture and a new language, apart from a new religion. With the end of Turkish rule and rise of the Mughals who came from Samarkand, there evolved a distinct Indo-Islamic style of art and culture, of which the Taj Mahal remains the most splendid example. We could have presented our history truthfully and without any bitterness or malice towards any religion or race because they added substantially to our culture, but unfortunately they did not only do that, they destroyed our institutions, threatened our religion and forced religious conversions, but our historians refuse to document them. As if, by brushing the unpleasant bits under the carpet, our history can be sanitized!

 

The global contribution of our cultural and civilizational heritage is increasingly recognized and respected internationally.  What a contrast to the situation today where the international attention and interest in our heritage and our response demonstrates the continuing wisdom of the old Sanskrit saying "Na ratnanan vishyati mrigyatehi tat” meaning "the diamond does not seek: it is sought after.” We have a responsibility to understand, nurture, strengthen and conserve this heritage for our future generations. This is the least that we owe to India.

 

Modern History

Smt. Indira Gandhi is remembered for two events in our recent history, the decisive victory of the 1971 war which liberated Bangladesh and the 1975 Emergency that stole our own liberty. During this time she sneaked in the two words 'secular' and 'socialist' in our constitution without the consent of Parliament because the latter simply didn't exist during Emergency. The parties opposing the Congress in India have always held these two words as 'afterthoughts' and not a part of our constitution, as the founders of the constitution had envisaged. 

 

The opposition is right, but only partially. The diverse Constitution Committee, comprising of an atheist Nehru, devout Hindus like Sri. Rajendra Prasad, Sri Shyama Prasad Mukherjee, Sri. C. Rajagopalachari  and a Dalit, Babasahab Dr. Bhim Rao Ambedkar  also had Christians, Parsees, Sikhs and Muslims represented by individuals like Frank Anthony, Minoo Masani, G Gurmukh Singh, and Maulana Abul Kalam Azad. They all were of the opinion that though they had defeated the imperial British government and snatched independence, they are not going to discard what is good in the western world, just because they originated in the west. Thus our constitution found an easy marriage of Indian traditions and western thoughts. Our ancient wisdom was augmented with western ideas of liberty, equality and fraternity. What Smt. Gandhi did not realize was that these three values together go well beyond her concept of socialism and secularism and her backroom drafting was an exercise in futility.

  

All that was ancient is not good.

Whether by Christian, Muslim or Hindu, all that was practiced during ancient times cannot be justified today. Islamic conquest saw subjugation and conversion by the sword and in Muslim dominated countries it still continues. Non Muslims are called 'kafirs' and they don't have a right to exist. Christian churches executed millions of heretics and supposed witches. Hindus too abided by the Manu Smriti and discriminated against lower caste, tribals, non-Hindus and women. Ancient Dharma Shastra had punishments for violating caste norms. Non-Hindus were called 'mlecha' or barbarians, not to be socialized with. Poverty and birth in lower caste were justified as 'karma', appropriate punishment for sins of earlier life. Could all this have been adopted in our Constitution? Could the new Indian constitution have justified Dronacharya asking a tribal boy, Eklavya to cut off the thumb of his dominant hand to ensure Khatriya superiority over tribals?

 

The constitution of India with an ancient heritage needed modern thinking so that the country could reap the benefits of both the worlds and emerge as a proud nation. The UN Declaration on Human Rights that enshrines universalism and non-discrimination finds a perfect reflection in our consultation. True, the world is changing, and as the constitution has a living soul it too has to change with time but it will never go back to the ancient days. We will proudly March forward towards what Rabindanath Thakur says:

'Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls

Where clear stream of reason has not lost its way in the deary desert sand of dead habits'

The poet envisions a nation where intellectual freedom, unity, and the pursuit of knowledge are valued. It emphasizes the importance of breaking down barriers and embracing diversity, fostering a society where individuals can strive for perfection without hindrance. Our constitution stands by this noble idea.

 

Gandhi ji famously said 'I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the culture of all lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any of them'. That is the challenge which India faces today. Adhering to the old and archaic values irrespective of their relevance and utility is as harmful as forgetting one's glorious past. The liberals over did their 'blowing in of new ideas' when they tailored our history and tried to give a secular face and tolerant image to cruel foreign invaders in order to appease a section of the society. The saffrons have now come back with a vengeance and rewriting history and renaming places. The discussion with the public was missing then and, thanks to social media, is cacophonic now. 

 

I honestly think Nehru missed the tryst with destiny when he failed to establish a cultural union of India and ended up with a political union of states. The latter happened in the map of India but never in the hearts of Indians. So, it is very easy to divide India along caste and religious fault lines even today after seven decades of independence, but it is virtually impossible to do so culturally as we are proud of every culture. This cultural amalgam is what is true Hindutwa, a common identity for the descendants of Bharat who revere Bharat as their punyabhoomi and matrabhoomi. This has nothing to do with spiritual or religious beliefs but it is an union of ethnic and cultural commonalities.  What effortlessly unites us, our ethnicity and our culture, should have been used as the magic glue. Then we would have been far stronger and prosperous. That is why it took an awfully long time to come up with 'Sabka Sath, Sabka Vikas, Sabka Vishwas, Sabka Prayas'.

ENGLISH PHRASES AND IDIOMS USED INCORRECTLY

 

Idioms and phrases are an integral part of the English language. We all use them, those catchy phrases or idioms that roll off the tongue and seem to capture a situation perfectly. But have you ever stopped to consider where they came from or what they truly mean?  I have in 5 previous blogs discussed about similar English idioms and how they originated. You can re-visit them by clicking on these hyperlinks:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-story-behind-english-idioms.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-origin-of-common-english-idioms.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-origin-of-common-english-idioms-2.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2023/05/the-history-behind-some-english-idioms.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2024/06/stories-behind-few-english-idioms.html

 

But today I am presenting an entirely different view of these phrases and idioms. What if those sayings, passed down through generations, have lost their original meaning along the way? What if the words we use to express ourselves are actually saying something entirely different? It turns out that many of the sayings we think we know have origins and meanings that are quite different from what we assume. Let’s dive into these fascinating phrases, uncover their extended versions, and learn what they were really meant to convey.

 

1. “Winning Isn’t Everything”

The extended phrase: “Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” What it means today: Most people use this phrase to suggest that there’s more to life than coming in first place. It encourages focusing on effort, sportsmanship, or personal growth. The full original meaning: The longer version flips the sentiment on its head. Coined by UCLA football coach Red Sanders, this phrase emphasizes an almost cutthroat mentality. It suggests that winning is all that matters—everything else is secondary. The stark contrast between the two versions shows how phrases can be reshaped to suit gentler, modern ideals.

 

2. “The Early Bird Gets the Worm”

The extended phrase: “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” What it means today: Hard work and being the first to act often lead to success. It’s a motivational saying for those who take initiative. The full original meaning: Adding the second half introduces a twist. While being first might have advantages, the second mouse avoids danger (like a mousetrap) and reaps the rewards. It’s a reminder that rushing in isn’t always the smartest move. Sometimes, patience and caution are better strategies.

 

3. “Now Is the Winter of Our Discontent”

The extended phrase: “Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this sun of York.” What it means today: The opening line of Shakespeare’s Richard III is often quoted to describe bleak or troubled times. The full original meaning: The second half of the line changes everything. It reflects optimism, signaling the end of tough times and the beginning of better days under a new reign. The full version is more hopeful, celebrating victory and renewal.

 

4. “Jack of All Trades”

The extended phrase: “Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one.” What it means today: It’s often used to describe someone who is competent in many areas but lacks deep expertise in any single field. The full original meaning: The extended version is far more positive. It shows the value of versatility, suggesting that being well-rounded can be more advantageous than being a specialist. It celebrates adaptability and broad skills, which are often overlooked in modern interpretations.

 

5. “Curiosity Killed the Cat”

The extended phrase: “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.” What it means today: This phrase is often used as a warning, discouraging curiosity by suggesting it can lead to trouble. The full original meaning: Adding the second part completely alters the message. It implies that curiosity may involve risks, but the rewards of discovery often outweigh them. It’s a phrase about the balance of caution and exploration, encouraging people to pursue their questions carefully.

 

6. “Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day”

The extended phrase: “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it burned in one.” What it means today: This idiom is used to encourage patience and perseverance, emphasizing that great things take time. The full original meaning: The addition of the second part offers a sobering reminder. While building something worthwhile may take time, destruction can be swift. It’s a lesson in caution, encouraging us to protect what we’ve built.

 

7. “Money Is the Root of All Evil”

The extended phrase: “The love of money is the root of all evil.” What it means today: People often use this phrase to suggest that wealth itself is inherently bad and leads to corruption. The full original meaning: The longer version clarifies the sentiment. It’s not money itself but an obsessive love for it that causes harm. This subtle but important distinction shifts the blame from wealth to human greed and the extremes people may go to for financial gain.

 

Great minds.......

8. “Great Minds Think Alike”

The extended phrase: “Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ.” What it means today: This phrase is often used as a compliment when two people share the same idea. The full original meaning: The second half injects skepticism. While great minds may agree on some things, mindless conformity can lead to similar conclusions without much thought. It’s a reminder to think critically instead of simply going with the crowd.

 

9. “Pull Yourself Up by Your Bootstraps”

The extended phrase: Originally intended as a sarcastic comment. What it means today: This phrase is often used as advice to encourage self-reliance and hard work, implying that anyone can succeed if they try hard enough. The full original meaning: In its earliest use, the phrase was meant to highlight the absurdity of trying to do the impossible. After all, you can’t literally pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. It originally pointed out how unrealistic it is to expect people to succeed without any help or resources.

 

10. “Head Over Heels”

The extended phrase: This phrase evolved from “heels over head,” which originally meant a flip or fall. What it means today: It’s used to describe being deeply in love, often in a lighthearted or romantic context. The full original meaning: The original phrase described physical motion, like tumbling or cartwheeling. Over time, it evolved into a metaphor for being so overwhelmed or “flipped” by emotion that it feels like falling in love.

MOTIVATIONS THAT ONLY PARENTS CAN PROVIDE

 

Sometimes all it takes to change the way people think is one simple sentence. A tiny piece of inspiring information can make us look at something in a totally different light. Whether it's about success, happiness, or something else entirely, words have the power to make a significant impact.  My father was certainly not my friend, as the fathers of today are. He was of an older model, serious but always approachable. His rule of ‘One meal together every day’ could never be challenged and without exception the entire family sat down on the dining table to have dinner together. This was the time when each of us had to tell something new that we had learned that day and my parents would always respond with an expression suggesting they also knew nothing about it. Today when I look back, I know it was only to encourage our inquisitive minds that they would appreciate our so called new discoveries, but it had a very telling effect on our personality. We learned to forage information from books and magazines and express coherently and confidently. Our dinner would invariably end with either of our parents telling something that in later life became our life lessons. Today I intend to share with you a few such lessons. While I do not very vividly remember the examples my parents offered, the essence of their thinking process is still crystal clear.

 

1. "Everybody is given the same number of hours every day to accomplish what they want to accomplish, and that's 24...no more, no less."

We all get given the same number of hours to use each given day. This means that the likes of Swami Vivekananda, Rishi Aurobindo, Dr. Bidhan Chandra Roy all had the same amount of time every day as we do. So really, if they can be successful, we can too. We have the same amount of time to use to our advantage, so why can't we put in the same amount of work and get the same results as they do?

 

2. "Some of the most successful people in the world have been rejected hundreds of times before finally reaching success."

What do Colonel Sanders, Tim Ferriss, and J.K. Rowling have in common? They were all rejected a number of times. In fact, they were rejected so many times that if you tried to count, you'd run out of fingers and toes pretty quickly. Rowling and Ferriss' books were rejected by more than 20 publishers, and Colonel Sanders' KFC recipe was rejected over 100 times before it started making him some serious money. Therefore, no matter how much rejection you suffer in life, there's always hope. Don't forget that. 

 

3. "20% of your problems are the reason for 80% of your unhappiness."

This is the old Pareto principle; where 20% of your efforts can equal 80% of the results. This principle also works for other areas and aspects of your life. Once you have realized this, you're able to identify the 20%, solve the issues, and remove them from your life.  This is something that you can apply to many areas of life, whether it's productivity, goals, happiness, or something else. 20% of your patients give you 80% of your troubles; refer them to your competitors.

 

4. "It's possible for you to be earning half the amount of money somebody else is earning, and still live a better and healthier life."

It's never about how much you are earning, it's about what you do with the money you earn, as well as how you're earning. Someone could be slaving away working 80 hours a week in a job they hate, earning a six-figure salary, but spend that money on material things they never even have the time to use. Whereas somebody else could be traveling around the world doing what they love, earning just enough to scrape by. They only work 30 hours a week and are much happier. The difference of your life's quality is never in how much money you're earning, but in how you're earning and spending it. Money is just a means, no more, no less!

 

5. "If you never ask for things, you'll never get them."

In Bengali there is a saying that a mother won’t let the baby suckle her milk if the baby doesn’t cry. People like to wonder why there aren't any opportunities for them out there. Well, it's because you're not asking for them! You're not knocking on that door! Even with small things, such as getting a discount on something you buy, asking somebody out on a date, or getting an extra egg for breakfast from the hotel. It's all about friendly smiles, conversations, and actually asking the question.  This is can be applied to any situation in life. The sole thing to remember is that you shouldn't wait for them to come to you. 

 

6. "Big things have small beginnings, so don't be put off by starting out small."

Jamshedji Tata started as a small time cotton trader and went on to build an empire. Amazon, Apple, Dell, Google and many other billion dollar companies actually started off in garages or bedrooms.  If this doesn't inspire you, then nothing will. All these companies started off small, and just look at how much they have grown over the years. Never be put off by the fact that you might be starting a business or any other skill at the bottom of the barrel as big things always start from small beginnings. All your winning stocks are winning because they were purchased when they were dirt cheap and you had the vision to pick them up for your portfolio.

 

7. "You don't laugh at the same joke repeatedly, so why do you cry over the same problems repeatedly?"

The first time we hear a joke it's hilarious. The second time, it's funny. By the third, you probably won't laugh. However, when it comes to a problem we have, we get upset over it repeatedly. We need to learn to worry less, and not waste our precious time crying over the same problem. A spilled milk won’t gather itself for drinking ever so why waste time, effort and energy over the same problem?

 

8. "There won't always be tomorrow; so, it's safe to say that if you're putting off something until tomorrow, it won't get done. Tomorrow never comes."

You can never say for certain if you'll be waking up to another day tomorrow. It's a sad reality, that one day you can be here, and the next you're gone. The excuse of "I'll do it tomorrow," just doesn't fit right. Procrastination is the thief which is stealing your precious time and you are completely oblivious about it.

 

9. "Many people often hit rock bottom at some point and still become successful."

There are some people out there who have grown up in rough neighborhoods, poor families, bad circumstances, 3rd world countries, and they've still gone on to become successful. If people from all over the world who come from challenging situations achieve big things, then why can't you? Boys and girls from remote village hamlets have studied hard and become doctors, engineers and nuclear scientists. So where you start from is not important when compared to where you plan to reach.

 

10. "The most valuable thing you will ever have in life is time, and it's always running out, so use it wisely."

More than friends, more than money, more than a job, more than possessions, time is the most valuable asset you have in life.  However, most people don't treat time like it's that valuable. They care more about the other things that are mentioned above. You can always earn more money, find a new job, and make new friends, but you cannot get more time. It's impossible. The way you spend your time should be the most important thing to you. Don't spend a second of your life complaining, worrying, or being unhappy.

 

11.”Honesty is not only the best policy but the only policy”

If your patients, clients, friends and relatives trust you with their problems you are lucky, they think you are worthy of their trust. In such a situation you may not always succeed in helping them, but the fact that you honestly tried will never be forgotten. If a patient requiring surgery is being postponed by one of your colleague, a personal phone call to him pleading for the patient may no always result in success, but the fact that you honestly tried will never be forgotten by the patient.

 

12. “Remain inquisitive – always remain a student”

Listen attentively, and ask questions, you will keep on learning new things, After all when you talk, you can only speak what you already know. So talking can’t add to your knowledge, listening can. Be silent and listen and never forget to filter out the trash. 

 

Parenting was a very serious business those days. Every parent is wired to offer love, affection and caring for their children, but where that ends is where parenting really begins. One of the greatest lessons that a parent teaches is respect, which builds the foundation of compassion, kindness and love. And this is what helps the child grow into a responsible human being.

TWO VERY DIFFERENT DEMOCRACIES

 

India and the United States of America are both democracies, the former being the largest and the latter the oldest, but they are vastly different from each other. We have a Westminster style Parliamentary system of government while the US has a Presidential system. Our people elect the members of the parliament and they in turn elect the Prime Minister, whereas in the US, the people elect the President and he selects his team of ministers after approval of a select committee of elected representatives. 

 

In India if a candidate like Smt. Indira Gandhi or Sri Narendra Modi is not on the ballot then the contest is between multiple parties or multiple coalition of parties. However, when a larger than life person is on the ballot the politics and the political discourse becomes more presidential and the vote is either for or against that person.

 

Americans still punch holes in their ballot papers to register their choice while we push buttons of the Electronic Voting Machine. Our system is more scientific, more advanced, and less prone to error. Historically the US has suffered electile dysfunction more than once, the Florida counts of George Bush and Al Gore Presidential election being the most noteworthy

 

Many differences

The US Presidential election is not really one election, but 51 separate elections, one for each of the states and the capital district. Each of these elections have their own rules - in some states the election is done entirely by mail and only in some states voters are required to show a photo identity to cast their ballot. India has three times the size of the electorate but all of them have a photo identity card. This makes our elections more organized. Our postal ballots are only for special categories like serving military personnel and diplomats posted overseas.

 

 

Another big difference is that our election is first past the post system. So, if there are multiple parties fighting it out and the most successful has even 33% votes, or in other words, 67% do not vote for him/her, he/she will still be declared the winner. The US system is 'winner takes all' system in which the candidate who gets the most votes in a state gets all the state's delegates in the Electoral College. This is that antiquated body which ultimately decides who becomes the US President. 

 

This concept is not only alien to us but unthinkable. Imagine if BJP wining 41 out of 80 seats in UP and opposition wining 39, all 80 seats of UP going to BJP! How can this be democratic? Our system respects the sanctity of every vote and the will of every electorate. If a tribal leader, not affiliated to any political party, is popular enough to win a parliamentary election, even he can take his rightful place in Indian parliament. One simply has to be an elected representative of majority of the voting constituency.

 

 

Different campaign strategy

This winner takes all process in the US means that the presidential candidates need not campaign in states which are traditionally and solidly behind their party, like New York and California for the Democratic candidate and Texas for the Republican candidate. Not only this, the opposition candidate too feels why waste time, money and energy in these states, they are not going to vote for our party anyway! So both the presidential candidates end up campaigning extensively in what is called 'swing states', those who keep changing their choices from election to election. All the time, money and effort are spent by both parties in wooing these states and these are the states, seven in number, which decide the winner of the presidential election.

 

This neglect of loyal state and avoidance of states loyal to the opposition is unthinkable in Indian politics. Our prime ministerial aspirants campaign in every state and try to reach virtually every constituency, irrespective of their past voting history because even if they can wrestle out 1 or 2 seats from an unlikely state, in the final countdown it is a huge bonus. Propagation of a party's ideology in a traditionally unfavourable state matters because the party may not win any seat but their voting percentage gradually increase with every election and in one election it eventually results in a surprise victory in an unlikely state! 

 

In the just concluded US elections in Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, which is a swing state, the two parties spent around $150 million on television advertisement in September and October. However, just across the river in New Jersey, which is a solidly Democratic state with far bigger population, no party bothered to campaign seriously and spent virtually negligible amount. 

 

Back home every state is closely fought irrespective of which party is in power in the state. Our electorate is wise enough to differentiate between issues of the state and issues of the nation and even when elections to the centre and the states are held together, they are known to vote differently depending on the issues.

 

Swing states

Swing states change from time to time. In early 2000s Ohio and Florida were swing states but today they are solidly Republican.  We also regularly see these swings; Gujarat was a Congress state 25 years ago, but now it is a BJP bastion. West Bengal was a communist state but now is governed by TMC. Rajasthan, M.P, H.P and Bihar keep swinging often.

 

In the US Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin were once the industrial heartland of the country manufacturing steel and cars. Globalization has hit them hard and now these factories are closed. So, this is called the Rust Belt and the once prosperous communities are angry and disillusioned. The Indian equivalence of rust belt is West Bengal and Jharkhand. Rich in natural resources, the factories and mines are long gone with similar anger and disillusionment among the masses.

 

Georgia, North Carolina, Arizona and Nevada are the other four swing states, which comprise the Sun Belt states of the US. They were traditional blue collared Republican but good weather, low taxes and low cost of living have attracted migration from prosperous neighbouring states and these migrants are white collared Democrats and so these states have a potential to swing. A different type of migration occurs in India where people from poorer states with fewer opportunities migrate to prosperous states like Maharashtra, Gujarat, Tamilnadu, Karnataka and Delhi, thus gradually changing their voting pattern. This is healthy migration where the states with job opportunities attract young people who can work there and contribute to both their state's economy and that of the migrant’s home state, when they send money back home. Remittances form a large chunk of the economy of thr poor states to which these migrants originally belong.   

 

However, there is an unhelpful and unhealthy migration too very prevalent both in the US and in India and that is of illegal immigrants. In the US they are usually Hispanic, Asian and African and in India they are Rohingiya Muslims from Myanmar via Bangladesh. The liberal parties encourage this illegal migration as these migrants become their natural vote-bank. This sinister plan of providing legal documents of nationality to illegal immigrants is gradually changing the demography of our states situated along our international borders, and this is a very dangerous trend.

 

Democracies are messy and elections make them messier, but still this remains the best system of governance. Both in the US or in India, elections are a true celebration of democracy. But whereas in the US these celebrations are held once in 2 years, in India we have a State or a National election every few months. This disturbs governance of the country far too frequently and decision making comes to a standstill. This is unhelpful for good governance and makes the governance staccato. The Indian government is trying to amend the constitution and sees if we can hold all state and central government elections together once in 5 years or twice in 5 years. Changes in a democracy occur slowly, but we are hopeful.