THE VALUE OF FIRST IMPRESSION

 

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. First impressions are crucial. They can make or break an opportunity. Its human nature to make a judgement about someone when you first meet them, but did you know that people can formulate an opinion about you in less than 20 seconds! ... For this reason, it's vital that your first impression is always your best one.

 

We are hard-wired to make snap decisions about others in a quick, non-reflective way that is unconscious. We are all different, we are raised differently, have different values, educations, come from different backgrounds and sometimes even hold our own prejudices. That’s why we make a snap judgment about someone when we first meet them based on their appearance, accent, tone of voice and what they say to us. For this reason, it’s vital that your first impression is always your best one. People can change their opinion of you over time, and of course they will, but if you don't have long to sell yourself or business idea, then you don’t have a second to waste. And while sadly you can’t make everyone like you, there are some simple steps you can take to make sure that your first impression is your best impression. My five step rule of first impression is:

Always dress for the occasion: Whether it's an interview, blind date or business meeting, ensure you put your best foot forward, give it some thought and dress appropriately for the occasion. If you look good you’ll feel good too.

‍Be polite -no matter what: There is no real reason to be rude to someone, even if they don’t treat you with the same respect. Be the best version of yourself and inspire. You can always speak your truth with compassion.

‍Be Authentic and present the real 'you': Whether that’s a formal handshake or a relaxed hug (depending on the person and situation of course), being authentic and making a friendly, positive entrance will leave a lasting impression. You don't need the swag of an athlete or the hair style of a movie star or the accent of news anchor to impress. You need to be the unique 'you'!

‍A smile goes a mile: A smile will always go a long way as it is inviting and approachable. No matter where you are or what you're wearing, a genuine smile is always your best accessory.

‍Tailor your tone: It’s important to be able to read a situation and tailor your tone of voice and language accordingly. Use your experience, intuition and common sense to share your best self for the occasion. You have to be somber in a funeral, enthusiastic in a group discussion, eager in a promotion, attentive in a training session and courteous all the time.

 

‍Digital first impression

A business runs on personal communication as much as it does on money, and if you want to be successful, it is vital that those who have cause to connect with you receive the very best impression from the outset. In today’s digital world, the first time you introduce yourself in person may not be the first time someone engaged with you. The first interaction is highly likely to be through email, social media, landing page, or your website. You can ensure great digital first impressions by creating a professional email signature (learn how to add a signature in G mail), creating a beautiful website, and running tight and informative social media accounts. 

 

Everyone has experienced discomfort when meeting someone for the first time, at some point in life. It could be a job interview that you desperately want to ace, or meeting new acquaintances at a party (remember those pre-Corona days?). While the odd awkward moment in such situations can be forgiven, there are a few mistakes that can truly sour the first impression you give.

1. Oversharing: You may think that offering a plethora of personal information about yourself is a good ice breaker, but etiquette and communication experts explain that the opposite is true. At the end of the day, the conversation is not only about introducing you, but also about getting to know the other person. You wouldn’t want them to leave the interaction feeling like it was a one-sided series of anecdotes about you, while they didn’t get the chance to speak.  Moreover, a social desirability bias may lead you to ascribe positive traits to people you don’t actually know well. That doesn’t mean they actually possess them and that they can be trusted. If you expose very personal details from the get-go, you risk coming off as gullible or immature.

2. Giving a weak handshake: I wouldn’t say you need to crush the other person’s hand with a forceful grip, but when meeting someone for the first time you want to make sure your handshake isn’t too weak either. A weak or limp handshake makes you appear cold and disinterested, whereas a firm handshake conveys confidence and interest.  Also, avoid clasping the other person’s hand with both of your hands, as that’s an action that expresses dominance. Needless to say that Covid appropriate behaviour has put the handshake on the back-burner and we should do with a cordial ‘Namaste’.

3. Speaking badly of someone: Whether you’re at a job interview and are being asked about a previous employer, or just casually meeting someone with whom you have a mutual acquaintance, always avoid speaking badly about others! Criticizing someone else when you don’t know your conversation partner will reflect badly on you. It backfires because it comes off as rude, and you can’t know if your conversation partner is personally connected to the people you’re talking about. When my patients criticize other doctors they have visited before me they instantly lose my respect and my sympathy.

4. Names dropping: Having connections can definitely help you progress at times, but when meeting someone for the first time, avoid trying to ingratiate yourself by mentioning other people’s names too often. Doing so will undercut any confidence you are projecting and will give off the feeling that you need to depend on someone else to succeed.

5. Trying to be ‘memorable’: We all want to stand out, and sometimes when we talk to new people we want to leave them with a lasting impression of us. However, trying too hard to create a ‘memorable’ impression might hinder the relationship. Seeming too different from the average might turn off or confuse the person you are talking to. Be authentic and gently make your audience know the Real You. 

6. Talking too much just to fill silent moments: This is something many people might do out of nervousness, after all, meeting someone new can be awkward. For some people, their instinct would be to fill every quiet moment with a personal anecdote or whatever else comes to mind. But now you are actually oversharing and taking over the conversation. If you feel anxious about long silences, remember that they can be filled by asking the other side questions, too. Try to know the other person or what he/she has to offer.

7. Discussing politics, religion and other sensitive topics: This may be dangerous because you are assuming that the other person will agree with you. When it comes to sensitive topics, it’s best to tread carefully when meeting someone for the first time. Your opinion on religion, politics, LGBTQ rights can be very different. These can be topics for subsequent meetings but not the first one.

8. Don’t assume but explore: It’s easy to slip into making invalid assumptions or imposing your own views without meaning to do so. Just because someone comes from a certain part of the country or has a certain profession doesn’t mean they necessarily fit into what you’d assume. Assuming all bearded men to be Muslims, all Brazilians to be football fanatics and all blonds to be dumb is dangerous stereotyping and this must be avoided. Try to know the other person instead.

 

First impressions are powerful and immensely valuable. In business, personal relationships, or social situations, your first encounter with another person has an enormous impact on how others treat you and sets the trajectory for future interactions. If you come out as amiable, friendly and open to getting to know everyone else you have scored high and if on top of it you are considered really upbeat and likable, and keen to help, it is a bonus!