Have
you ever wondered why it feels good to be with some people and why some people
leave a lot to be desired? Some people are likeable, interesting and pleasant whenever
you come across them and they leave you feeling good. It has very little to do
with their physical attributes but the sum total of their appearance, their
behavior, their conversation, their attitude towards life and their unique
outlook all together create a lasting impression. This total package is the
person’s personality. The personality is the typical pattern of thinking,
feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.
Everyone
wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is
vital - probably even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85
percent of your success and happiness will be a result of how well you interact
with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people
are attracted to, or shy away from you. Not only humans, animals too have a
personality and dog lovers and equestrian enthusiasts will readily vouch for
this!
Can we
change our personality into a more pleasant one? Many think and believe that
character traits are established at birth and we can do nothing about this. They
argue that while some people are blessed with a generous sense of humor and
charisma, others have to cope with a lack of these qualities and find them
impossible to achieve. In fact, this itself is a negative attitude that takes
all the virtues and good things in each of us for granted and convinces us to
not find ways to develop and improve our personalities. We are not born with a personality;
we acquire, develop and cultivate one. We humans have the power and ability to
shape our personalities however we wish. When we develop ourselves to
be all that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the happiness of
others.
While
we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent by visiting beauty parlors or
getting cosmetic surgeries, we have the ability to improve the personality as
much as we want and in a far easy and affordable way. We can develop or
integrate into our personalities any trait we aspire for and deem fit. This is
how I think we can:
1. Be self
confident.
People with high self-confidence always have an advantage over those who
regularly hesitate and doubt themselves, because people who demonstrate strong
will and assertiveness serve as an example and inspiration for others, and so,
they can easily take control of different situations. Do not give in to the perception
that it is the responses of others that need to determine your behavior, and do
not feel the need to seek approval and acceptance of others for every step you
take. Self-confident people control their own lives and take personal
responsibility for their actions.
2. Be a
hard worker. Most
high-performing workers don’t actually work too much, however, they do work efficiently.
To get better results and demonstrate your many skills, try to disconnect
completely from the various instant messaging programs, put your phone on vibration
mode and don’t listen to music if it distracts you. Invest yourself completely
in the task you need to complete. Hopping between work and distractions is not
the sign of a good personality.
3. Be a better and purposeful listener. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered
one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of
being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a
person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important.
There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently
making you feel like you're the only person in the world. This way you will be
able to read others' thoughts, understand what motivates other people and what the
reasons behind their behavior are. While listening, consider not only what they
say but also what they do while talking to you: where are they looking, what
makes them smile, what facial expressions are they making, and what are their
hands doing during the conversation? This will improve your response.
4.
Read
more and expand your interests. The more you read and cultivate new interests, the
more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives
you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with
them. One essential part of having a
good personality is having interesting things to talk about. That doesn’t mean
you need to study astrophysics – you just need to have interests. If you are
excited about something you probably will be able to tell other people about it
in an interesting way. It really doesn’t matter what you like to do! Try to
read something every day. Watch movies. Look for new hobbies. Just try to
experience what the world has to offer!
5. Be a good conversationalist. This relates to how much you read
and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with
others. No one can read about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn
from others those things we don't have the time to about read ourselves.
6. Have an Opinion. There is nothing more tiresome than
trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has
nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an
uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and
stimulating company. When you talk to people you want to have things that
matter to you that you can talk about. Develop an opinion on politics or sports
or animals or parenting or anything like that you are interested in. Don’t
worry about agreeing with the other person as long as you can converse civilly.
People will appreciate the personality of someone who is able to express their
opinions about things. A unique outlook expands
everyone's perspective.
7. Meet New People. Make the effort to meet new people
especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and
alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.
8. Be yourself. The next most tiresome thing after
having no opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding yourself in
order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us
is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting
to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of
authenticity.
9. Have a positive outlook and attitude. Who wants to be around people who
are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us
run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights
up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in
people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with
your presence.
10. Be fun and see the humorous side of
life. Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile,
so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always is
one. When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy
setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.
"Laughter is good for the heart" is a well-known cliché, but it has
quite a bit of truth since good laughter can free us from stress and help us
see the positive side of things and communicate with others. Therefore, people
tend to like those who have a sense of humor and want to be close to witty and
amusing people, who also have fun and can laugh at themselves and their
failures without feeling bad.
11. Be supportive of others. Being supportive is probably the most
endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself
welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love
a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging believes in us and helps
pick us up when we're down.
12. Have Integrity and treat people with
respect. Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration,
respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more
than integrity and respect - respect for others, as well as respect
for yourself.
13. Radiate Warm Positive Energy. This is
something that is kind of an unspoken thing and something that you just give
off. There are things you can do to control your own energy, which really are
just a function of focusing your own mind on all the positive things in your
life. I think all people give off a unique energy or a vibe and I think all
other people can sense that. Whether you have ever talked to me or not, just
from reading my writing you form certain impressions about me on an unconscious
level. As a result you’re either drawn to me or not.
14. Be nice. This is
the most important step. No matter who you are, if you are nice, the only
reason a person can dislike you is if they are jealous of you. Never be rude to
people. If someone is being unkind to you, try to imagine what might be causing
him or her to act this way. Maybe they are going through a really difficult
situation in their life and in reality they are a very good person. Try to
assume the best in people. You don’t have to be naïve and it’s okay to remain
skeptical, but that doesn’t mean you ever have an excuse to treat anyone
poorly.
15. Keep your cool. This will
earn you an enormous amount of respects, especially if you keep calm in
situations where everyone else panics. Just try to take things as they come and
don’t get too high or too low. This is something that you can do consciously
and people will really respect your ability to keep everything together.
Developing a good personality is something we all
should try. When
talking to someone, try to make eye contact with them - look into the person's
eyes with real calm and serenity and don’t forget to smile! Charismatic people
are able to listen to others and be in the same "mind-frame" as they
are – so, while having a conversation, don’t rush to talk about yourself and
remember that it is better to ask questions and to be interested first in the
person in front of you. Be nice despite provocations and keep cool. Be supportive of good causes and good people
and work hard to make a positive difference. And don’t take life too seriously;
laugh at yourself once in a while!
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