I am of the firm
opinion that ‘Appearance’ today is the last bastion of discrimination that we
are yet to conquer. Conventional wisdom holds that
beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but most beholders tend to agree on what
is beautiful. A number of researchers have independently found that, when
people are asked to rate an individual's attractiveness, their responses are
quite consistent, even across race, sex, age, class and cultural background.
Facial symmetry and unblemished skin are universally admired. Men get a bump
for height, women are favoured if they have hourglass figures, and racial
minorities get points for light skin colour.
Some of us will
even go to great lengths, spending a lot of money to indulge in Cosmetic
surgeries, trying to fit societal expectations. And it is not that the affluent
and the rich in show business are going for these surgeries, middle class too
is requiring these procedures to get married or to keep their jobs. Yes, performance
matters but if somebody is both a good performer and good looking, his/her
chances of promotion in jobs or eligibility in the market of arranged marriages
is certainly enhanced. Appearance-related bias also
exacerbates disadvantages based on gender, race, ethnicity, age, sexual
orientation and class. Prevailing beauty standards penalize people who lack the
time and money to invest in their appearance. And weight discrimination, in
particular, imposes special problems of unwanted stares, unkind jokes and
unnecessary harassment.
History:
The history of
atrocities on the not so beautiful is not all that subtle. The ancient Romans
would throw the babies born with Cleft Lip off a cliff! In the 19th century, many American cities banned public appearances
by "unsightly" individuals. A Chicago ordinance was typical:
"Any person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated, or in any way deformed, so
as to be an unsightly or disgusting subject . . . shall not . . . expose
himself to public view, under the penalty of a fine of $1 for each
offense." Though we are far more civilized today but we have not stopped
judging people by their looks.
The
perfect body syndrome:
While the opinion of others can be
ignored with courage, I think all
of us, men and women, have looked in the mirror at one point in our lives and
thought how much happier we’d be if our stomachs were flatter, noses
straighter, and if our wrinkles would just disappear. We all have moments when
we aren’t satisfied with our external appearance, and all these moments do is
put us in a bad mood or make us try to create change in our lives that we don’t
really want to stick to. Useless this journey to the "perfect body"
really is bothering you, and will help you begin your journey toward acceptance
and self-love I do not advice cosmetic surgery to my patients.
Let us break the
myth of the ‘perfect body’ and move towards the goal of ‘perfect you’. Let us
understand a few very basic points:
1.
The so called standards of beauty – are they
real?
Through propaganda the world media has built a glittering ideal of what
perfect men and women should look like. Advertisements, billboards, and
celebrities who set fashion trends, whose sole purpose is to dictate to all of
us what is beautiful and what is not, are actually selling products and ideas.
But most of their indicators of beauty are inconsistent with sane reality. Why?
Because there is no such thing as a "perfect body", and trying to
determine one is a very superficial and unattainable idea. Perfect health, I
can understand, but perfect body shape, perfect skin tone, perfect smile do not
only vary from time to time and place to place but need not stick to a
stereotype at all. It is this variety which makes us all different and
beautiful. And even real-life models don’t look the way they do in pictures, as
most ads are heavily Photoshopped.
The beauty industry thrives on our insecurity. Their posters tell us
that we may not be good enough and their product will make us as beautiful as
their models. Their goal is to make you feel uncomfortable in your body to
increase sales, whether it's weight loss solutions, trendy clothing or makeup.
2.
Those parts of your body that you hate are also
yours
A receding hairline or a protruding belly can deprive us of pleasures of
living a full life because of a feeling of guilt that rises within us. But are
all people with scanty hairs on their crown and a few extra pounds on their
belly failures? More often they carry them with aplomb and they have learned to
love them and thereby themselves. Accepting and internalizing the fact that
there are some parts of your body you don’t like about your body is the first
step towards a more positive attitude towards your outward appearance. The next
obvious step is if possible do something about it – diet, exercise, gym
anything….but do not sulk.
Just as you accept your friends or partners despite their negative
qualities (there is no perfect person), you have to accept yourself with the
knowledge that there are some parts of you that you would prefer to change, but
you can live with them, and keep on trying to improve.
3.
We all have our bad days.
On days when you look in the mirror and see nothing positive in your
appearance, you need to remind yourself that you are looking at a person who is
loved by parents, a spouse, friends, and children if. In addition, remember
that every small wrinkle attests to the wisdom that you’ve gained over the
years, and every scar attests to the tremendous power you have. Then ask
yourself some serious questions – have you been too busy? Have you slept well?
Have you eaten well? Are you tired? These are important questions because your
outward appearance often reflects your energy and health, rather than the fact
that you are more or less attractive.
4.
The mirror does not show your fourth dimension
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you see only your outward
appearance, but there are other things in you that make you who you are. You
have thoughts, beliefs, hopes, dreams, and emotions that are much more powerful
than your external appearance, even when it comes to how people who do not know
you see you. Your appearance may create a very quick first impression, but
people will eventually judge you by your character, even after a short 5-minute
conversation.
If you feel
beautiful you will be beautiful, and this is the only truth! Beauty is not only
in your appearance but also in the self-confidence you have. People who convey
confidence are much more attractive than people who try to hide, and this
confidence can only be built through the story that you tell about yourself. So
remember, if you are telling a happy story, you are far more beautiful than
that dumb model on the billboard. Beauty
is not in the eyes of the beholder……it lies deep inside you!
Excellent
ReplyDelete