You must have noticed in your conversation with people or in the social
media people often do not think rationally but have strong opinions and
beliefs. Either you are with them or against them, there is no middle path.
Either you are a Modi bhakt or a Modi hater, a Trump idolizer or a Trump
slayer. Unfortunately this trend is also creeping into international diplomacy –
either you are with the democracies or against them. As if all democracies are
epitomes of virtue! Just as the Jihadis live in an impervious echo-chamber and believe
that they are warriors of God, the irrational mind to is a warrior of its own
God of ignorance.
Humans are not rational creatures. What, then, motivates us, if not the
cold hard facts? Our minds are driven by bias. Once an initial bias has been
developed, it is extremely difficult to change one’s mind. Think of it like
wearing reality-warping glasses: once a biased person reads or listens to
facts, they will either use the information they receive as reinforcement of
their beliefs or dismiss it as being bogus and condescending.
Why are we irrational?
Our irrationality is deeply embedded in our anatomy through evolution
and that we act on emotion rather than rational facts. Our lack of logic stems
from our evolutionary desire to belong. Straying too far away from the herd,
even in search of shelter or food, immediately lowers your chances of survival
in the wild. By sticking to our opinions, we subconsciously signal to our
surroundings that we are an inherent part of the herd. We belong. And in this
respect, trying to convince someone to change their mind is equivalent to
trying to convince them to leave their tribe. How would they survive without a
community?
Another anatomical element of the irrational mind is the fact that our
brain has mechanisms that constantly work to protect our ego, worldview, and
sense of identity. When our worldview is challenged, the same part of the brain
in charge of processing physical danger is activated. This may explain why
arguments can sometimes become aggressive. This is especially interesting when
you realize that the voice of reason was also developed through evolution. As
Homo sapiens started to evolve language, it allowed them to cooperate. Cooperation
is difficult to establish and sustain, and that's why reason developed not to
enable us to solve abstract, logical problems or even to help us conclude
unfamiliar data; rather, it developed to resolve the problems posed by living
in collaborative groups.
Illusion of explanatory depth
This is a term used to describe a situation in which a person who is
relatively ignorant or unknowledgeable in a certain field imagines him/herself
as competent, masterful, and skillful- even though they are far from it. Think
of it like that – you probably operate a zipper daily. You know how it works,
don’t you? You grab the handle, you move it, and the zipper, well, zips. But
how does it zip the two sides together? When you come to think of it, you
realize that you don’t really know that much about zippers. So, people believe
that they know way more than they actually do.
A confusion of ownership of idea
When it comes to everyday things, like operating a zipper, we know that
another human designed it so that we can all operate it easily. Come to think
of it, we have been relying on one another’s expertise ever since we figured
out how to hunt together. But, do we collaborate rationally giving credit to
those who legitimately deserve? Far from it; we can hardly tell where our own
understanding ends and others begin. There’s no sharp boundary between one
person‘s ideas and knowledge and those of other members of the group. When it
comes to new technologies, this ignorance is actually empowering. When it comes
to politics, it divides us and creates trouble. We can easily operate a zipper
without knowing how it works, but we cannot favor a political stance without
understanding it.
How to argue a different point of
view?
Jack and Sarah Gorman, a psychiatrist, and public health specialist
respectively found that processing information that supports our beliefs gives
us a surge of dopamine – the happiness hormone. How to debate effectively to
change someone’s mind by arguing and debating arguments is an art. A drastic
ideological shift is not very realistic, and so your best strategy would be to
tell someone they’re right before telling them they are wrong. Point out where
you both agree on something, and then offer a gentle alternative perspective
rather than a groundbreaking fact.
When you find common ground, you essentially communicate to the other
side that you are, in fact, together in the same tribe, and if they change
their mind, they won’t be alone. This is also a great way to dismantle
aggressive behavior. The more you share beliefs with someone, the more likely
they are to change your mind. The fact of the matter is that you already agree with
them in most areas of life. The closer
you are to someone, the more likely it becomes the one or two beliefs you don’t
share will bleed over into your own mind and shape your thinking.
How to avoid conflict and navigate group
conversations gracefully
Try to knock some practicality into the argument if you run into a smug
opposition. Ask them to describe the implications of their radical beliefs.
What would life look like for all of us if we went with their radical idea?
When using this form of simulation, it's very important to use facts only.
Otherwise, the conversation would stray from the point. If the argument becomes
heated, that's when you know someone is irrational.
Always try to consider the possibility that you may be wrong yourself-
understand that what you know, think, or believe is only right based on what
you know now and that your beliefs may change if you acquire new knowledge.
Maybe the facts are not on your side, in which case, admitting it will help you
show the other person that it’s okay to be wrong. When trying to convince, use
impersonal language. Instead of saying “your argument,” for instance, say “the
argument.” Your goal is to change minds, not criticize or attack. Use your curiosity
and your kindness. Argue to learn, not to win.
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