ENJOY LIFE, DON’T HURRY THROUGH IT

Happiness and contentment go hand in hand. They are an inseparable duo. Contentment does not mean stagnation and a love for status quo. There is an ongoing struggle at various theatres of life – personal, familial, social, occupational, physical or emotional. We face challenges and hardships that test our emotional strength: illness, injuries, grief, unemployment, death, divorce, or even a brand-new venture with completely unknown outcomes. Staying happy, despite all odds is an art which is vital because happy individuals make happy families, happy families make happy societies, happy societies make happy cities, happy cities make happy countries and happy countries together can create a happy world. Happiness is a perception, a state of mind and the good news is staying happy is a choice which we can voluntarily make despite all odds.

 

I am reminded of a beautiful movie of the seventies, very justifiably called ‘Anand’ or happiness. The protagonist is a person who has been diagnosed as a patient of an incurable cancer which is sure to curtail his lifespan drastically but he makes a conscious decision not to brood and feel sorry for himself but to spread happiness in the society in his few remaining days. Life should be big and not long, he says and goes about making a mockery of his life threatening disease.  

 

Despite how brutally Lady Luck might treat you, you have to choose the option of being happy. I know I will not be able to even imagine all the possible life challenges that people might face but let me make a humble attempt and make a few suggestions for the illusive happiness:

 

1. Face the reality, don’t avoid it: Time and again my patients are scared of the word ‘biopsy’. They feel something sinister will be discovered and that will be the end of their life. But, if it is a sinister disease will avoiding a biopsy cure it? As human beings, we are masters of avoidance, and very often end up turning away from life's challenges instead of facing them head-on. However, if you really want to enjoy life to the full, then you'll need to start getting used to owning up to the truth. Once you learn to stop avoiding each of life's hiccups, you'll eventually find that life becomes easier, less scary, and a lot more manageable. Once you start seeing such a positive change in your life, you'll then have even greater confidence that you can grow even further, and partaking in such journeys of personal growth is the backbone of living a satisfying life.

 

2. Embrace the way your life actually is: According to the Buddha, the secret to life is not to want what you don’t have, but to actually want what you have. There is an immense feeling of freedom associated with taking life as it comes. Once you learn to simultaneously embrace the positive and negative aspects of your life, you'll then have a real chance to enjoy life to the full and to value everything that the world has bestowed upon you. You'll find that surrendering to the reality of who you really are truly gives you the opportunity to live up to your potential. This is in no way accepting the calm of the harbor but preparing yourself for the forthcoming voyage.

 

3. Don't rush through life: Life is not a prison sentence, a bad dream that should quickly pass. It is an unending string of experiences that has to be enjoyed. We've all heard the saying 'slow and steady wins the race,' but not many of us realize how important this approach to life really is. By constantly being in a hurry, we actually end up compromising our own success. If we get ahead of ourselves, then we're bound to make a lot more mistakes. If we cut corners, we're sure to end up paying a price for it later on. It is only through disciplined and incremental growth that we can make positive and lasting changes to our lives.

 

4. Be more grateful: We often complain about our problems. We invariably think we deserve a lot more but we never look back at our successes and honestly assess whether we deserved them in the first place. Many of us tend to count our worries a lot more often than we count our blessings and privileges. However, possessing such an attitude will diminish your ability to lead a happy and fulfilling life, since you'll constantly be weighed down by negativity. An efficient recipe for emotional health and well-being is to recognize all the good that your life contains and to receive it with gratitude.

 

5. Be true to your feelings: Many times, we find our feelings confusing, terrifying, or hard to bear, so we try our hardest to keep them at a distance. However, by putting up a wall and choosing not to feel, we usually end up draining ourselves of the psychological energy that makes life pleasurable and meaningful. If we cease to feel anything, then we don't only deprive ourselves of the growth that can come out of negative emotions, but we'll also end up sucking all the fun out of life's more positive experiences. Quite simply, when we stop feeling, we cease to be human beings and end up simply going through the motions like robots.

 

6. Enjoy success and accept failure as parts of life’s journey: We are all constantly learning, no matter how old we are. That's why it's important not to be too hard on ourselves, and to accept that trying, succeeding, failing, and trying again is the only real way to instill lasting confidence in ourselves. No matter how successful or mature we become, our inner child will always require friends and mentors who'll help see us through. Failures are invaluable stepping stones which eventually lead us to the peak of success. We need to own them, be thankful for that experience and use them as pedestals to attain greater heights.

 

7. Family and friends matter, cherish these relationships: Relationships don't just appear and disappear magically since they require a great deal of hard work and attentive care to help them grow and flourish. Mature love involves honoring our differences yet overcoming distance on practically a daily basis. It accepts the reality that every relationship will have its fair share of pain and suffering, but it also accepts that the only way to stay on track is through unyielding compassion. Learn to be more understanding, and your love will shine through, brighter than ever. Expect a little less and give a lot more and you will see happiness never deserting you.

 

8. Never stop planning: If you stop planning, you have stopped growing and are now stagnating in life. This is dangerous. Any military personnel will tell you it is far more difficult to hit a moving target than a sitting duck. Your body may not be as young and agile as it used to be but there is nothing wrong with your mind. Put it to work all the time. Read a new book, learn a new hobby, and travel to a new place. Life is finite, make 100% use of this opportunity.

9. Smell the flowers, feel the breeze and walk in the rain: These are God’s gift to us all and they come free of charge. We must enjoy nature and not exploit it for monetary gains. Spending time with nature is not wasted time but quality time. The truth is, a life spent dutifully responding to emails, attending to children’s home work and spouse’s comfort can after some time be terribly monotonous. And then “wasted” time is, in fact, highly fulfilling and necessary. Allow yourself to have a moment of tranquillity and peace, and being able to delve deep into thought about whatever and just observe the world around you.

 

10. Relaxation is not wasting time: Productivity isn’t everything. Creating is great, but you don’t need to fill your every second with work. When you do work, get excited, pour yourself into it, work on important, high-impact tasks … and then relax. Relaxation is not wasting time. Remember great poets, authors, artists whom we admire today for their epics and masterpieces were not chasing a tight schedule. Scientific inventions were not made in time bound periods.

 

We have been blindly worshiping at the altar of hard work believing hard work will bring more money and more happiness. This is almost a cult culture and unlearning this is difficult. The truth is that idle relaxation is the alternate phase of focused work which rejuvenates us and prepares us for best results in terms of creativity and well being.  

There will be occasions in life when hardships will pull you down momentarily, but be rest assured you can bounce back if you choose to. Only you can make this decision