RETIREMENT – A GRAND PLAN OF BETTER LIVING

 

 

 

My Medical College batch-mates and school mates from Colvin are retiring from government jobs now. Some are starting a new job in the private sector. Good luck to them. Some like me have their own thriving practice and are gainfully occupied as patients still repose faith on them by the grace of God. But many of my friends and acquaintances have not taken retirement very well. They have not just retired from job but have retired from life almost. This is totally unacceptable and extremely harmful. Life, at every stage has a purpose and retired life is no exception.

 

Once you cross this watershed of retirement things start changing in your life and in you, the person. The road ahead in life was far clearer and your priorities started changing subtly but surely. I often compare notes with my contemporaries – friends, batch-mates, work associates and while in my case the deteriorating eyesight or ‘drishti’ was brilliantly rejuvenated by the state of the art cataract surgeries the vision or ‘drishtikon’ metamorphosed completely. So in this blog I will dwell extensively into this newly acquired vision!

 

What I am about to discuss has been collected from my interactions with many seniors, each with his or her own piece of advice. Some you may know, some may surprise you, and some will remind you of what's important. You may not agree with a few, and I will respect your descent too. So read well, share with your loved ones, send me feedbacks and have a great day and a great life!

 

1. It is time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don't just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than children with big ideas for your hard earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for an investment, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries and this is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.

 

2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren. Don't feel bad for spending your money on yourself. You've taken care of them for many years and you've taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter, and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.

 

3. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well, and get your sleep. It's easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor and get tested even when you're feeling well. Stay informed.

 

4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day, one of you will miss the other, when money will not provide any comfort. So, enjoy it together. Remember, life is too short to drink bad wine.

 

5. Don't stress over the little things. You've already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don't let the past drag you down and don't let the future frighten you. Feel good in the ‘present’. Small issues will soon be forgotten.

 

6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor, and remember: "A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection."

 

7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don't stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.

 

8. Don't lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your sense of style. There's nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You've developed your own sense of what looks good on you - keep it and be proud of it. It's part of who you are. I often wear shirts my sons refuse to wear because they think they are too old for that!

 

9. Always stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to sign up to a couple of social networks. You'll be surprised which old friends you may meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know, is important at any age.

 

10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them of yesterday's wisdom that still applies today.

 

11. Never use the phrase: "In my time". Your time is now. As long as you're alive, you are a part of this time. Have fun and enjoy life.

 

12. Embrace this period of your life. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it'll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.

 

13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren. Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. Welcome them to come and stay with you if they wish, it is their home and their right.

 

14. Don't abandon your hobbies. If you don't have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance …….why not, if the heart is pumping efficiently! You can grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer at an NGO or just collect certain items. A senior citizen in my colony collects trash in a large bag during his morning walk. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it.

 

15. Even if you don't feel like it, try to accept invitations. Conferences, graduations, birthdays, weddings, attend them all, once the pandemic is gone. Get out of the house, meet people you haven't seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don't get upset when you're not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there.

 

16. Participate actively in conversations. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That's a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don't go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well.

 

17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we're all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life has added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be.

 

18. If you've been offended by someone, forgive them. If you've offended someone, apologize. Don't drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn't matter who was right. Someone once said: "Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die." Don't take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

 

19. If you have a strong belief, savor it. The key is not to waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Hindutwa or Secular, Modi or Leftists, Local or Global are unending debates. Live with your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway others.

 

20. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky few. You've managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age; never get to experience a full life. But you did. So what's not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation.

 

21. Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They'll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you've achieved. Let them talk and don't worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you've lived so far.

 

22. Write a memoir. There's still much to be written, so get busy writing and don't waste time thinking about what others might think. Don’t ever think about who will read what you write; you are doing this for yourself, to make you happy, not anybody else. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be!

 

23. Keep ticking your ‘to do list’. Always make a list of things you kept on postponing for future. Now is that opportune time. Make a list of all those items; serialize them – books to read, music to listen, places to visit, people to meet, skills to acquire, and get going in right earnest.

 

24. Give back. In whatever small way you can you must try to give back. I have friends teaching street children at their homes, attending abandoned clinics in slums to treat the sick, cooking for one extra person in every meal for some poor, collecting old clothes for orphanages and old age homes and flicking off the street lights and closing running taps during their morning walk. They are all giving back in their own way!

 

 

What can the society do?

 

Local administrations, educational/research institutions, the corporate and business sectors and social organizations like the Rotary and Lions clubs can avail themselves of the services of the elders as consultants and advisers. Their services can be tapped to tackle a variety of problems — poverty, hunger, health, rural/tribal backwardness. The poorest of the poor, the physically challenged and the destitute need support. The seniors are the right source of solace to this.