DURGA PUJA – A DIFFERENT PRESPECTIVE

 

Shubho Bijoya!

Durga Puja was never simply a religious festival; it is always a celebration of tradition, culture and community. It is a unique blend of spirituality, symbolism and cultural richness of the land we live in. That is what makes Durga Puja of Kolkata, Delhi, Ahmedabad, Mumbai, Patna and Lucknow so very different. It means different things for the children, the young, the newlyweds, the families and the elderly and they all contribute to the tapestry of these festivities. The Mahalaya, the art competition, the fashion show, the food festival, the dance drama, the song and dance competitions all form the different colours which make Durga Puja such an unique kaleidoscope of our being.

I distinctly remember, when I was a child, I had asked my father why we had to pray and offer floral tribute three times during Pushpanjali. Sagaciously he replied just as in school we quickly understood that in order to learn something well we needed to repeat it several times, this is true of everything else as well, including the principles praying and meditating, which then translate into principles of a good life.

This is so true! Deep down you probably know that it's okay to say "no" sometimes, to be blatantly honest, to accept people’s imperfections, to forgive and forget and so on, but sometimes it’s difficult to do these things in moments of truth. So, what can you do to be able to do these things? These form the principles for a good life. Some may make you feel a bit uncomfortable, but the truth that is found in each of these principles is important for your mind in the present, and especially in the future.

The mad rush of Durga Puja, which you encounter during pandal hopping, can leave you tired, frustrated and exhausted, but you tend to return year after year with the hope of a better experience. We meet friends and acquaintances during the Puja, may feel glad or sorry for how the Goddess has kept them, be encouraged by their stories or depressed by their plight. In this hustle and bustle, toil and sweat, pull and push you realize that Ma Durga is giving you some invaluable life lessons:

 

1. You can’t control what energy others get from you

In other words, you can’t control the feelings you create in others. Anything you do or say is filtered through the minds of others and seen through a lens related to what they are going through at the moment - and it has nothing to do with you. Just keep doing things out of love and goodwill, and try to support people who are dear to you when they are going through tough times.

 

2. You can’t control how people behave

When someone "annoys" us, it is often because they behave in a way that does meet our expectation. The frustration that arises in us, therefore, doesn’t come from their behavior, but rather from the difference between it and what we expect. So do not get carried away with your feelings, and remember that calm is power.

 

3. The years do only good for your soul

As we get older we learn to value our time, the relationships we have with others, the work we do, the moments of peace and quiet that we enjoy and more and more. Apart from the immediate difficulties, there are other things that are important to us in life, and the best sign of personal growth and development is the understanding that there is no reason to stress or worry about trivial things that presently sapping our energy. These are momentary difficulties, and they won’t last.

 

4. Look ahead and not back

Don’t fall into old habits that you had in the past, even if you felt that life was much easier then. Remember, you stopped these habits for a reason - to improve your life, and now you have to keep moving forward rather than looking back, and certainly not go backward.

 

5. Your peace depends only on you

Peace does not necessarily mean that there is no mess, stress, trouble or difficulty to deal with. Peace is found among all of these when one learns how to balance life from a practical, emotional and intellectual standpoint. The problems in life won’t stop; however, the way you react to them will determine how large or small they’ll be.

 

6. Do not wait for your life to start

Most of us spend too much time waiting for the crowd to thin down and the right path of life to come before us, but that’s never going to happen. We tend to forget that the same course of life is one that we pave by walking it, and it doesn’t exist if we keep standing and waiting. You don’t need to feel safe before you take the first step - that step is what will build your confidence.

 

7. Don’t do things just to impress others

Forget what others think of you; just do what you love with passion, modesty, and honesty. Don’t wait for applause, but do what you do simply because that's what you want to do - because it's right for you. This is the only way to realize your dreams.

 

8. Remember that it's never too late

It's never too late for anything, and you didn’t stay back or miss a chance – right now, you’re exactly where you are supposed to be, and every step you took was necessary. So do not judge yourself or underestimate yourself because of the length of your journey - we all have to go a long way to find out who we really are and what our mission is in the world. Give yourself respect and appreciation for reaching this point and continuing your journey - it isn’t over yet.

 

9. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future

You may not have been responsible for what happened to you in your childhood, but you do have to take responsibility for actions that will correct the mistakes that have been made, as well as the patterns of thoughts you have created for yourself as a result of those situations. Don’t blame the past for what is happening to you in the present, because it won’t correct the situation. If your responses lead you to the same place, change your pattern and thinking according to the things you’ve learned so far.

 

10. Life changes all the time

In retrospect, everyone can find something in their past that made their life difficult, but today they live with these things without a problem. Sometimes we even grow to love situations that in the past seemed only negative. Life often leads us on a journey we would never have chosen if it was up to us, but you mustn’t be afraid. Trust that your journey will lead you to where you are supposed to be. 

 

So yes, Durga Puja is a very important religious festival, but what these festivities teach us go way beyond our traditional concept of religion – standing in front of a deity, closing our eyes, folding out hands and praying for a better life. But, have you realized, it is the English words religion and prayer that have confused us. In Sanskrit, Hindi, Bangla and several other Indian languages the word is ‘Dharma’, which is nothing but a righteous way of life! And these ten life lessons that I have enumerated, are the obvious and expected outcome of Dharma.

Like a mantra, as my father said, if we read these life lessons again and again, we will start understanding them, and imbibing them in our life. They’ll slowly be engraved in your mind for the rest of your life.

 

H-1B SHOCK AND TARIFF - SHIFTING SAND, CHANGING WORLD ORDER

 

The Crème De La Crème of India's STEM graduates would routinely be picked up by the American industry offered the H-1B visa and used to add gloss and shine to the American economy. Their average income is far more than their American counterparts but Trump and his MAGA supporters think they were cheap labour, just like the Mexican, Costa Rican and Nicaraguan immigrants working in the agricultural fields of Texas and wanted them out. Trump obliged by making the visa fee astronomical. Little did they realise that these were people with exceptional talent, the highest tax payers of their country and they did not cross the border illegally in the dead of the night.

 

By increasing the cost of H-1B visa to USD 100,000 Trump has hit India hard because 70% of 2800,000 of these visas were issued to Indian graduates last year. It is now casting a shadow on the employment prospects of these graduates, their dollar earnings and their precious remittances.

 

India has to rethink and strategize. We have to use our strengths to plan our response. The highly skilled workforce, which was educated in India was making America great for far too long is now not welcomed in America. Now, with heaps of skill and experience that they possess, will it not be a good idea to create circumstances so that they can make India great now? Their experience with digitization, AI, Cloud infra, chip design, and many other cutting edge technologies are waiting to bloom here and address our domestic problems. 

 

The fact of the matter is that globally integrated teams can now thrive in diverse locations. With fast Internet speed they can coordinate even from their home countries. So, this move may lead to offshoring of more work. 

 

H-1B has been the dynamo of American innovation but if Trump and his MAGA goons are hell bent upon pulling out the plug and stop the life support system of their big tech, what can we do? Innovators like Elon Musk, Jensen Huang, Satya Nadela and Sunder Pichai all entered the U.S. on H-1B visa and contributed so much to the American economy and soft power. Is Trump of the opinion that America would ever have been great without their contribution? Countries like the U.S. and Australia are made by immigrants and one who is an outsider today will be a tax paying, employment generating and innovating insider of tomorrow. It is the immigrants who have fire in their bellies to conquer hardships and deliver, and they are far more educated and far more productive than the average Americans. They pay higher taxes, they follow the law and they are the ones who truly make American great!

I have, in the past written a blog on how America attracts the best talents from all over the world and prospers: https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2023/11/uncle-sam-remains-most-unique-talent.html

 

High tariff barrier

With India not prepared to surrender its sovereignty of choices when it comes to the procurement of crude oil or arms, and absolutely not ready to open its farm sector for American genetically modified produce, the battle lines are drawn and these tariffs will stay as long as Trump stays. So, our exporters will have to come out of their comfort zone and find newer markets to sell. True Americans are the biggest consumers, but the markets in the rest of the world have not yet been explored, and these places are not exactly populated by paupers.

 

The home market 

The timely reduction of GST just before the festive season is the stimulus the domestic consumer was waiting for. Income Tax revision has left some extra disposable income in their hands and revised GST has made their aspirations affordable. This is a country of 1.4 billion people with a very large neo-middle class which has recently come out of poverty. They get free ration, subsidized housing and affordable healthcare. Why are we underestimating their buying power? Why are we not targeting this market? Did you see the line outside the Mumbai Apple store to buy the new iPhone 17pro? These cost anything between INR 89,900 to 240,000 and everyone purchasing them is not exactly rolling in wealth. Banks are funding their aspirations. The same affluence and financial convenience is seen in the car, motorbike, television and white goods market and a lowered GST rates are further helping people to aspire more. Even the rural economy is looking up and tractor sales are on the rise. The FMCG (fast moving consumer goods) products are selling faster with more disposable income and lower costs. 

 

The domestic market of all our states mimics the European Union, and is only several times bigger in consumer numbers. But still trade between 27 member countries of EU far exceeds India's GDP! The intra-EU trade was 4.1 trillion € (4.8 trillion $). Germany alone exported goods worth 845 billion € to the rest of EU. So, with more money in the pocket of our consumers, why can't we build a more robust intra-states trade in this post GST era? After all, five states – Tamilnadu, Maharashtra, Karnataka, Gujarat and Uttar Pradesh aspire to become a trillion dollar economy by 2047!  Individual EU consumer may be richer that their Indian counterparts, but our numbers are far higher! India is a large country with enormous resources, a very large domestic market and our young population ensures plenty more working hands and productivity. True, our purchasing power is less and all of us cannot afford cars but the economy will improve also with the sale of toothpaste, hair oil, soap, biscuits, footwear, t-shirts, ghee, milk, vegetables, fish and poultry products. 

 

There is no dearth of jobs and the local governments have to be both aware and equipped. Pot holed roads have to be repaired, unkept parks have to be maintained, drains have to be unclothed, streets have to be kept clean, and this will not only employ people but improve the quality of our lives. We have funds like MNREGA which can be utilized for this. We have to make the best use of our manpower, create such works to improve our living standards and at the same time generate an indigenous growth spurt. We have to create jobs for all types of people so that they have a 'rozgaar' if not a 'naukri'.

 

There is a clear message that Trump is conveying to India. We have to change from a service nation to a manufacturing nation, a next generation product nation. We should invest more in R&D and teaching institutions should produce human resource which the industry needs. There is no future for unemployable degree holders, we need thinking innovators. Repetitive jobs will be done by robots and AI. 

 

Government, i.e. politicians and bureaucrats, will have to understand that we are at an important crossroad of history. We have to exploit this disaster by funding deep-tech, supporting start ups, encouraging entrepreneurs and improving our procurement policies. Manufacturing chips, rare earths, pharmaceauticals, and defense hardware and software all will require investment in R&D. 

Economic reforms alone won’t see us through this quagmire. The non-economic institutions that must support economic growth – the legal system, the judiciary, the bereaucracy remain completely unreformed. Quality legal redressal in quick time to both citizens and businesses still remain a distant dream for us. This needs to change ASAP!

Trump is not the only road block we are about to face. Europe is ready with carbon tax, their own brand of tariff. So, the sands will keep on shifting and we have to be nimble in creating, building and deploying newer technology. We cannot afford to be only consumers of technology; we have to become the creators. No one is going to give us a free way towards prosperity; we have to fight for our survival with not only plan B, but also be prepared with plans C and D for future challenges.

 

WHY SPENDING TIME ALONE MATTERS?

 

While humans are a social species who naturally crave relationships and social interaction, solitude can often be a necessary counter-balance to our busy and hectic social world. If you find yourself daydreaming about being alone on a deserted island, I’m going bet you aren’t incorporating enough alone time or “me time” into your life. Set aside a few minutes each day to be alone with your thoughts — just 10 minutes a day can help. Silence your electronics and allow yourself to think for a few minutes. If you aren’t used to solitude, it can feel uncomfortable at first. But creating that quiet time for yourself could be key to becoming the best version of yourself.

Spending time alone gives us a better understanding of who we are and what we desire in life. It also enables us to make better choices about who we want to be around. We also tend to become more appreciative of the relationships that we do have, and surely enhance their quality.

I have, in the past, written two blogs on the value of solitude and the subtle difference of being alone and being lonely. You can read them by clicking the following hyperlinks:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/02/the-value-of-solitud.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2023/04/being-alone-and-being-lonly-are-two.html

In another blog I had mentioned the value of idle relaxation in life and stressed the fact that it is certainly not equivalent to wasting time:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/06/idle-relaxation-is-not-wasting-time.html

Far too often these days, many people end up feeling overwhelmed, and thanks to social media it sometimes feels like there's no way to escape. However, it's extremely important to switch your phone off and get away from every other human being every so often. This is loneliness by your choice, solitude with a purpose, and not loneliness thrust upon you. Loneliness is a negative feeling of isolation, sadness, and is never by choice. But being alone and spending time with our own self is invariably by choice and it substantially adds to our mental growth. Alone time can be cultivated and made enjoyable and peaceful. 

So why do I choose to be lonely at times? It offers me the ideal period of silent emotional growth as I reconnect with myself. Being alone is never an idle moment, it is a time when I call out myself and seek answers, directions and explanations. Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques and an extreme form of spending time alone in complete solitude. It was popularized 2500 years ago by Gautam Buddha. Vipassana means "to see things as they really are". It is a logical process of mental purification through self-observation. There are many benefits of spending quality time with one’s self:

 

1. It fights stress

Being alone and feeling bored deactivates the areas in your brain that promote heightened awareness, which can help lower stress levels. Boredom helps calm your brain down and can help you regulate your emotions a lot better.

2. It helps me unwind

Spending time alone is a brilliant way to recharge my mind and body. This is how I feel most relaxed. 'Reading' comes in 2nd place and 'being in nature' comes 3rd.

3. It wards off depression

It may seem counterintuitive, but spending time alone has actually been found to tackle depression. Studies from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign revealed that the risk of depression is significantly decreased for those who enjoy spending time alone. Additionally, they also found that people who enjoy being alone are far less likely to suffer from depression at any point in their lives.

4. It boosts my mental strength

Many people get nervous when they have to be alone for a long time. However, we really should start to do it more often, since forcing oneself to sit through extended periods of solitude will fortify mental strength.

5. It makes me more compassionate

Solitude help people gain a better understanding of the struggles and experiences of others, which can help them become more sincerely compassionate throughout their lives.

6. It is creative time

If one wants to become more creative, then there's no better way than spending time alone. The more bored one gets, the more creative they become, since the human mind will start coming up with loads of different ways of keeping yourself entertained, and since one is alone there will be nobody around to distract. Without the need to care for or interact with other people, you can ignore outside influences and focus inward. Archimedes was alone in a bath tub when he discovered the principle of buoyancy, as he immersed himself in the tub the water level rose and it at once clicked! Eureka! He had discovered the Archimedes Principle! 

7. It makes me self reliant

If you always rely on others for assistance, opinions, and advice, then you might end up becoming partially-dependent on others, which won't allow you to become self-reliant. If I want to feel a sense of independence, I'll need to start making decisions on my own, which is something that spending time alone forces me to do.

8. It improves my concentration

Interruptions and distractions are an inevitable part of our day-to-day life, from the daily barrage of emails to friends and family messaging us to see when we're free to meet up. Setting aside some proper alone time will allows me to cut out most of these disturbances, letting me get on with the task at hand – write a paper or a blog, take a correspondence course on AI, devour a book or listen to my favourite music. Me time also improves my memory and concentration, and I invariably plan a better life.

9. It improves me memory

Spending time alone also boosts my memory. In fact, people remember the key details of tasks they completed by themselves in far more detail than those they completed with the help of others.

10. It strengthens my relationships

Being alone has helped me gain a better understanding of who I am. Such self-knowledge is absolutely essential if you want any of your long-term relationships to work out. After all, if you don't even understand yourself, how can you expect to truly understand the needs and desires of another person?

11. It improves personal exploration

Taking some time for myself allows me to explore my own passions, free from the pressures and judgments of others. Having time to myself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focous on yourself

But, it is not easy to be alone!

Solitude can be challenging for some people for a variety of reasons. 

• Lack of experience being alone: Some people might not be used to being alone because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected. 
• Distressing thoughts and feelings: In other cases, being alone and focusing inward can be difficult or even painful. People might find this introspection distressing or engaging in rumination and worry.
• Social stigma: Stigma about being alone can also shape how people feel about solitude. For those who have been exposed to negative attitudes towards being alone or who see it as a form of antisocial behavior or social rejection, solitude can seem like a painful form of punishment.

While loneliness by compulsion of  habits and circumstances can be very disturbing, the occasional ‘me time’ by choice is a wonderful thing.  If we are less likely to know our neighbours and less likely to have dependable friends the problem is with us; we are creating boundaries around ourselves and sequestrating ourselves into loneliness. Being alone, on the other hand, is an occasional choice which we make to recharge ourselves.

A HISTORY OF PERFUMES

 

If you happen to be a perfume aficionado, it’s likely that you already know the basics of the modern history of perfume. You know that Coty and Guerlain were the first companies to mass-produce perfume, you should know that Chanel No 5 smashed sales records and made perfume history, and you might even understand how the scents marketed by famous women such as Elizabeth Taylor and Katy Perry have defined the perfume markets for decades. However, the slick glass bottles and airbrushed celebrity campaigns of today’s perfume counters belie a strange history that dates back thousands of years – and involves chemicals derived from the butts of dead cats, the Plague and whale vomit.

 

The history of perfume is a lot more than the history of humans trying to smell nice – it’s a history that is filled with much strife and innovation. The ingredients that are used to create scents have historically been important for trade routes; high-class scents have always been used as a way to distinguish nobility from peasantry, and fragrance has been tied to expressions of religious devotion, cleanliness, and health precautions for most of the history of human civilization. A cuneiform tablet from Mesopotamia, dating back more than 3,000 years, identifies a woman named Tapputi as the first recorded perfume maker.

 

India

The history of perfume in India dates back to ancient times, as mentioned in the Vedas. Gandhasastra, a subdivision of Ayurveda, focused on the production of perfumes for both cosmetic and religious purposes. 

Kannauj, located in northeast India, is renowned as the perfume capital, where traditional oil-based perfumes called ‘attar’ are crafted using time-tested distillation methods. Ancient Indian perfumes were primarily made from natural ingredients such as flowers, herbs, spices, and essential oils, valued for their aromatic and therapeutic properties. The use of aromatic substances was widespread, reflecting the cultural and medicinal significance of perfumes in Indian society. This rich history highlights the deep-rooted connection between Indian culture and the art of perfumery.

 

I have, in the past, written a blog on Indian perfumes. To read it, please click: https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2017/10/you-smell-great.html

 

 

Ancient Egypt

The Egyptians loved perfume, and they used it for both ceremonial and beautification purposes: fragrance was believed to be the sweat of the sun-god Ra. They even had a god of perfume, Nefertum, who wore a headdress made from water lilies, one of the most popular perfume ingredients of the time. If you were a king or someone else of high status in Egyptian society, perfume would have been part of your everyday life, smeared on you in the form of scented oil to keep you smelling nice. At the moment, the University of Bonn is currently trying to recreate a pharaoh’s perfume from 1479 BC, based off its desiccated remains found in a flagon – chances are that it will be sticky and smell heavily of river botanicals and incense.

 

Egyptians imported huge volumes of perfume ingredients from Punt, a region of Africa which specialized in aromatic woods and myrrh. This was basically the equivalent of the United States and China striking a million-dollar trade deal for sandalwood.  

 

 

Ancient Persia

Ancient Persian royalty was heavily invested in perfume – so much so that in Persian art it was common for kings to be pictured with perfume bottles. The legendary rulers Darius and Xerxes are shown sitting comfortably with their perfume bottles and holding perfume flowers in their hands. The Persians dominated the perfume trade for centuries, and many believe that they invented the distillation process that led to the discovery of base alcohol. One thing we do know is that Avicenna, the Persian chemist, doctor, and philosopher, experimented extensively with distillation to try and make better scents, and was first to work out the chemistry behind perfumes that weren’t oil-based.

 

 

Ancient Rome

So many ancient Roman and Greek perfume recipes have survived that it’s actually possible to recreate ancient perfumes in our modern era. The ancient Greeks and Romans carefully documented their perfume-making processes. In fact, there’s even a mural in a perfume-maker's house in Pompeii that documents the process of making Greco-Roman perfumes. First the oils were made by pressing olives, then ingredients such as plants and wood were added to the oil using meticulous measurements, this was then left to steep so that the oil could take on the scent of the ingredients. Perfume was often used in ancient societies to bring believers closer to the gods. However, scents weren’t just used for religious purposes: they were everywhere. If we were to take a rough guess, by 100 AD Romans were using 2,800 tons of frankincense a year, and perfume was used in beauty products, public baths, and even on the soles of feet.

 

Ancient China

The ancient Chinese utilized scent by burning incense and fragrant material instead of wearing it on the body. Histories of the use of scent in Chinese society tend to emphasize that perfumes weren’t considered a cosmetic there; rather, they were used for disinfection and purity, as they believed they could eliminate diseases from a room. However, this isn’t to say that the Ancient Chinese didn’t wear perfume. In fact, according to Chinese chemistry historians, the period between the Sui and the Song dynasties was rife with personal perfumes, with nobles competing for the best scents and importing ingredients via the Silk Road. The big difference between this and other perfume traditions is that most Chinese perfume ingredients were used for other purposes such as food and medicine.

 

 

Medieval Europe

If you were anybody in Europe from the 1200s to the 1600s, you carried a pomander – a ball of scented materials, kept inside an open case, and used to ward of infections and bad smells. Since medieval Europeans believed that bad air could make you sick, these little balls were seen as life-savers. This whole idea of portable perfume seems to have popped up in the Middle Ages after Crusaders, returning from holy wars, brought back their enemies’ perfume-making secrets. Even though the idea of personal oil-based perfumes didn’t catch on, they discovered that castor, musk, civet, ambergris, and other animal-based products made great bases for scents to perfume their clothes.

 

The first alcohol-based perfume was created in this period too: it was known as Hungary Water, because it was believed to have been created for the queen of Hungary during the 14th century, and included distilled alcohol and herbs. If you were wondering what those animal-based ingredients above are, we hope you have a strong stomach. Musk is a secretion from the musk pod of the male musk deer, an organ used to mark territory; civet is a liquid from the anal glands of civet cats; castor is made from the scent glands of beavers; and ambergris is a grey oily lump found in the digestive system of sperm whales.

 

 

1400-1500s Italy

A serious breakthrough in perfume production came about in medieval Italy, when they discovered how to make aqua mirabilis, a clear substance made of 95% alcohol and imbued with strong scent. This was how liquid perfume was born. After this invention, Italy became the center of the world perfume trade for several centuries. If there’s one person who can be credited with bringing Italian perfume to France and the rest of the world, it’s Catherine di Medici, who as an Italian bride to the French king had a perfume made for her by her Italian perfumer, Rene le Florentine – a scented water with bergamot and orange blossom. He also created musk and civet-scented gloves for her. From there, things accelerated quickly: after a brief dip in perfume popularity in repressed Victorian England, synthetic compounds began to be discovered in the late 1800s, and the modern perfume industry was born.

 

Perfumes expire, you know and I wrote a blog on this - The expiry of your favourite perfume – a sad day. To read it, please click:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-expiry-of-your-favourite-perfume.html

GENERATIONNNNNNNN... GAP IN POLITICS

 

Do you always understand your children? On most issues in life - familial, social, political do you and your children think alike. If your answer is 'no', then naturally you do not have a right to claim that you represent your family. We belong to different generations, and we are not expected to think alike. This is generation gap.

A generation gap is the difference in outlooks, beliefs, behaviors, and interests that exists between people from different generations, particularly between younger and older people. These gaps arise from each generation growing up with distinct societal, technological, and cultural experiences. For example, the technological fluency of Millennials and Gen Z differs significantly from that of Baby Boomers, creating different perspectives on work, communication, and values. If you stretch it back to the grandparents then they are almost technology novices. So, though out of respect, the wedding invitation to a family is invariably addressed to the grandparents, if they start thinking that

India's median age is 28.4 years. Over 50% of 1.4 billion Indians are under the age of 25. Around 66% are below the age of 35. So, 650 million Indians are below 25 and 700 million below 35. But the average age of a MP in Lok Sabha is 58 and in Rajya Sabha is 61. Political parties prefer old established loyalists to young and energetic candidates to fight elections. So here we have a young nation being represented by old politicians, of grandparents' generation! How can young India expect their grandparent like politicians to understand their aspirations, feel their struggles, and give answer to their questions?

As if this dichotomy was not enough politics has long become the preserve of the powerful, abode of nepotism, the playground of the wealthy and the sanctuary of criminals. Young and enthusiastic are carefully kept out of this preserve lest they tilt the apple cart. If you can create trouble and inflict untold miseries on the public by jamming roads, flaming agitations, hurling insults to haloed institutions and individuals (Bharat tere tukre honge...' you become a precious sought after 'young turk' for political parties and get a rare entry ticket into the grandparents club. Otherwise, the youth is ignored.

Make no mistake, there are no dearth of plans for the betterment of the cause of youth with the government, but far from co-authoring these plans, the grandparents rarely ever consult them. Their representation remains symbolic.

The youth today fails to find a young and relatable political role model. The opposition's youth icon is approaching 60 and in the ruling party three young ministers lie in the periphery. Now if the young voters do not turn up in large numbers, can you blame them? They are being shamelessly used as vote mobilization tools for flooding the streets and the social media. They are all politically aware but electorally alienated.

I wonder if the only thing that will work to assure them their rightful inclusion in the parliament is a bill in line with the Women's Reservation Bill. Young people are needed in the election ticket and in leadership role, where they can shape electoral strategy. They should be part of the committee that drafts election manifestos for parties. The deserving ones should be fast-tacked into strategic campaign roles and not relegated to become sloganeering foot soldiers. The political parties should follow internal quota systems for women and youth and widely publicize it as their USP. This will attract the youth vote towards them.

How long can 65 year old law makers represent 25 year old voters without understanding their world, their issues, their ambitions and their aspirations?

BEFRIENDING A NARCISSIST AMERICA

 

U.S Secretary of States of Nixon era once famously said "The word will go out to the nations of the world that it may be dangerous to be America's enemy, but to be America's friend is fatal." How true that is can be experienced by all allies of the U.S, E.U, Japan, South Korea and the Gulf countries like U.A.E, Kuwait, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. This is a typical narcissist’s embrace, and India has kept herself miraculously out of it. Pressures are being mounted every day; we did not know that the Ukraine war was India’s war till the U.S told us. Though China, Europe and the U.S all keep doing business with Moscow, but it is India that is financing the war, and responsible for the killing of innocent Ukrainians!

According to Greek legend, a young man was so fascinated, awestruck, and enraptured by his own image reflected on the surface of a pool that he sat lovingly gazing at water’s edge for so long that he succumbed to his own vanity and eventually drowned and transformed into a flower that carries his name, “Narcissus.”

So, who is a narcissist? 

He or she is one who has

1.      A grandiose sense of self-importance
2.       A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3.       A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
4.       A need for excessive admiration
5.       A sense of entitlement
6.       Interpersonally exploitative behavior
7.       A lack of empathy
8.       Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
9.       A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Now that almost describes the current U.S. President.

There are phrases that narcissists use that can make you feel bad about yourself. These are not always obvious statements, because narcissists have an incredible ability to make a person feel completely worthless if they allow it and without you even noticing. The intention is that they are willing to go to particularly deep levels of negativity to do so and truly destroy you. These phrases are now often heard from U.S law makers and diplomats, and needless to say, they are hardly diplomatic.  

1. "I'm sorry you feel that way." This is not a genuine apology, even if it seems like one at first. When someone truly apologizes, they acknowledge what they did and don’t shift the blame. We told you to buy oil from Russia when it was convenient for us, but now it is not so you should stop. You think we are being unfair, "I'm sorry you feel that way." 

2. "You’re not worthy of our friendship." In a way, this statement is true – no one deserves a narcissist as a friend, and the largest democracy of the world most certainly not. When a narcissist uses this phrase, you should remember that the real intention is to diminish the other person’s / country’s value. Narcissists think they are above everyone else and deserve only the highest quality in everything and everyone. In their pursuit of perfection, they fail, succeeding only by manipulating people with self-esteem issues; remember the public humiliation of the Ukrainian President and then making him sign away the reserves of rare minerals of his country!

3. "If you didn’t upset me so much, I wouldn’t act this way." This is a familiar phrase that makes the other person feel guilty, even if they were just trying to protect themselves. Toxic people crave control because they are insecure. They also feel that every time they get angry, it’s because the person in front of them somehow provoked them. This is a manipulative pattern that serves only them. The only ones who manage to stay close to them are those willing to worship them and when they come across non-ass kissers like Modi they respond with 50% tariff. "If only India didn't upset me so much, I wouldn't put secondary sanctions against them."

4. "Why are you even friends with them?" This isn’t really a question but an insult toward your friends. Narcissists see themselves as the central figure in your life, and everyone else becomes insignificant in their eyes. Russia has been an all weather friend and always sided with India right from the days of liberation of Bangladesh, when the then U.S President had sent the USS Enterprise to the waters of Bay of Bengal to help a dictatorial Pakistan! And today they have the cheeks to tell us to dump Russia in a war that has nothing to do with us!! The best response is not to get dragged into explanations. Any attempt to justify your friendships with others will lead to further insults from them. So, it is best to ignore them.

5. "Be careful, you don’t want to lose me." This phrase is meant to evoke fear and anxiety. In the past, such a statement was indeed made reminding us of our difficult relations with China. India of the 21^st. century can very well manage its affairs with China, without any Western help. The truth is that what is really lost in such relationships is the self respect – the sense of personal worth of the leader and the country, and Modi is far more mature to fall for this crap. America needs the large Indian market of 1.4 billion people just as much as we need access to theirs’. The best thing is to lose the toxic person, and his cheer leaders because life will be much better without them.

6. "I did it for you." It’s important to be grateful for what people do for you, but there’s no obligation to accept gifts or actions that don’t suit or don’t bring joy. Even if the narcissist invested a lot of effort or money, you have every right to say, “Thank you, but I don’t want this.” No, Trump had no role in the cease fire after Operation Sindoor and if he is suffering from delusion of grandiosity and importance he needs treatment. India will not oblige and not recommend him for the Nobel Peace Prize.  

7. "If you loved me, you would…" This is one of the most common manipulative phrases. When you say “no” to a certain request, the narcissist responds by claiming it is proof of a lack of trust. In reality, everyone has the right to refuse what doesn’t suit them. There’s no need to prove affinity by constantly sacrificing our self. We are not paupers. We do not need American aid. We do not beg for American arms free of cost, we purchase them. We don’t need periodic bail out packages to run our economy and free food grains to feed our citizens. We feel it is far better to love ourselves, and if the situation doesn’t improve – seriously consider abandoning the relationship till better senses prevail in Washington.

The United States has long been past the point in our history where making direct connections between the policies of Hitler and his Nazis and those of Trump and his MAGA White supremist supporters are as clear and as relevant. These are two historical eras that were and are led by men with clear Sociopathic and Narcissistic Personality Disorders.

Hitler did and Trump is destined to drown by their narcissism. Hitler did not and Trump will not transform into a fragrant flower. The Indian response to his narcissist attack is the best response. The allies are bending far too much for his comfort. History will not pardon them and they will soon pay a heavy price when they go to the polls the next time. The war in Ukraine will be stopped by diplomacy and dialogue and not by threats, ultimatums and sanctions.