HAS WORRY EVER SOLVED PROBLEMS?

 

 The mind can often be a breeding ground for anxious thoughts that refuse to fade with the setting sun. As the world quiets down at night, and the day's distractions dissipate, our minds often become consumed with worries and fears that seem to amplify in the darkness. This worry can take many forms, from anxieties about incomplete duties to fears about the future, robbing us of the peace we crave before falling asleep.

This is an unending collage of problems and difficulties, but very unique to every individual. Yes, there are some common patterns of worry – health, money, career, relationships, and so on, but those who are prone to worry effortlessly jump from one problem to another, needless to say, without solving either. In fact, worrying is a passive activity; problem-solving is active. Worrying is repetitively thinking about all the things that could go wrong; problem-solving focuses on what you can do to make things right. Repetitive worry is unproductive; problem-solving is productive (“Let's get started”)

It's important to remember that not all problems are solvable, but worrying about them is never a solution. Instead, we should focus on taking action where we can and finding ways to manage our emotions when we cannot. Worry makes you feel as if the worst is already happening as our brains don't always distinguish between imagination and reality. You may feel safer when you're worrying, but it's just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. To stop worrying, you need to learn how to embrace the uncertainty that we all face in life.

So what do we usually worry about?

Worrying does not prevent bad things from happening. Conversely, you can see how you can easily get caught in a self-fulfilling prophecy: what we believe influences how we act, and how we act can reinforce what we believe. Let us analyze a few common worries that we often encounter and what can we do about them:

1. "There's so much I need to do."

 This type of anxious thought often stems from feeling overwhelmed by the tasks and responsibilities awaiting us. The seemingly endless to-do list can loom large in our minds and make it difficult to relax. To combat this, consider using time management tactics like prioritizing those tasks, breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps, and setting realistic deadlines. I have a policy of 3Ds – Delete, Delegate and Do. So, most of the stuff people suggest that I should be doing, I analyze them and if I don’t like them, I dump them. Of the remaining things in my ‘To do’ list, quite a few do not need my personal attention, so I delegate them to others. That leaves me with just a handful of important things to do personally. Creating a planned strategy can help you feel less chaotic and more in control of your duties. Furthermore, practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness meditation before bed can help calm the mind and promote a more restful sleep.

2. "Do I have enough money?"

Financial issues are perhaps the most common cause of anxiety for many people. According to financial therapists, uncertainty about money is a major factor in daytime anxiety and evening restlessness. Concerns about bills, expenses, or future financial security could trigger anxiety and cause sleep disruptions. To tackle this type of anxious thought, start by gaining a clear understanding of your financial situation. Create a budget to keep track of your income and expenses, find areas where you may cut back or save, and consider ways to increase your income if necessary. Saving for a rainy day with an eye on inflation and another on unexpected emergencies is always wise and desirable.

3. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

During the night, many individuals find themselves lying in bed, replaying the events of the day in their minds. This introspective activity often involves dwelling on past interactions, such as disagreements with a spouse or some unpleasant conversations with loved ones. Instead of becoming consumed by these reflections, it's important to pivot towards proactive thinking about the future. Take the opportunity to glean insights from these experiences and mentally outline strategies for resolving any concerns the next day. Once you've taken these steps, acknowledge that you've done all you can for the day. Inter-personal altercations are best ironed out after the dust has settled.

4. “I should have said that.”

Meanwhile, others might find themselves preoccupied with the words left unsaid in the events of the day. Perhaps you experienced a moment of social hesitation or found yourself tongue-tied during a disagreement, with the words you wished to express now swirling in your mind. However, dwelling on these missed opportunities will only hinder your ability to move forward and find peace in sleep. Instead, consider voicing those unspoken thoughts as you lie in bed. Speaking aloud can serve as a therapeutic exercise, and improve your ability to articulate yourself confidently in future situations. Not uttering something unpleasant, that could add fuel to the fire of disagreement, is a wise decision. Congratulate yourself for showing maturity.

5. "I can't seem to turn off my racing mind."

Many of us experience a condition known as "racing thoughts", where our minds appear to be on overdrive, rehashing conversations, reliving past events, or worrying about the future. This constant mental chatter can make it challenging to quiet the mind and drift off to sleep. To deal with this, try mindfulness meditation or guided imagery exercises to help you shift your focus away from distracting ideas and toward the present moment. Concentrate on your breath as it travels in and out of your body, or imagine yourself in a calm, serene environment. Creating a relaxing sleep routine that signals to your body and mind that it's time to unwind can also help. Whether its sipping herbal tea, dimming the lights, or listening to soothing music, find what works for you and incorporate it into your evening routine.

6. "What if something bad happens to me?"

This anxious thought often revolves around the fear of potential harm or disaster striking while you're vulnerable and alone in the dark. It may stem from anxieties about accidents, health issues, or other unforeseen events that endanger your safety or well-being. To manage this anxiety, start by acknowledging your fear without judgment. Remind yourself that it is natural to be concerned about your safety, but obsessing on worst-case scenarios simply heightens anxiety. Take a moment to consider your strengths. What special traits have helped you overcome hurdles on your journey? Recall instances in your past where you displayed perseverance and problem-solving abilities in the face of uncertainty.

7. “I’ll have a horrible day tomorrow”

But, why can’t it be a wonderful day? You have a choice of either being a victim of circumstances or a creator of circumstances, and only you can make that choice. Often, just thinking about our inability to fall asleep can be enough to keep us awake at night. Thoughts about the potential consequences of sleep deprivation the following day, in the morning lecture or operating room can heighten this sense of anxiety. Fortunately, there are several techniques for breaking this cycle of stress. Listening to guided meditations, soothing sleep tales, or calming ambient sounds such as ocean waves, can help. Music is a great mood soother. These strategies provide the mind with new focal points, steering it away from anxious thoughts and toward relaxation.

8. "Am I doing the right things in my life?"

When daily responsibilities and tasks consume your attention, nighttime can become a breeding ground for deeper existential ponderings. These contemplations typically revolve around the larger issue of life's direction. Take time throughout your day to investigate these ideas calmly and systematically to keep your sleep free from the intrusions of such anxieties. I could have been a radio news reader or a television news anchor if I did not choose to become a plastic surgeon. Is there any reason to go back in my thoughts and ponder how peaceful my life would have been or how famous I would have been if I dad jumped into the other available boat?

 
Is worrying ever helpful?

I will never say that worry never helps. Although worry has its benefits, it needs to be kept in check. If people worry about skin cancer, they will use sunscreen and sun protection. If your child is out and it's after their curfew, it might be useful to worry about them a bit! It could prompt you to call your child, be sure they are safe, and ask them to come home. Worry lowers expectations about future outcomes, leading to better emotional states when things go better than expected.

Short-term worry can be productive if it helps you plan and solve problems. Worry can also be helpful if it leads to new perspectives on the problem. Planning is the middle name of a plastic surgeon. He/she does the surgery ten times in his/her mind, before executing it on the patient, and he/she already has a clear picture of the final result in mind. This is constructive rumination. Helpful worries tend to be goal-oriented, solution focused, and often start with “How”