ELDERSPEAK……NOT GOOD FOR SENIORS!

You can call it a respect for the elderly or you can call it a lack of concern but believe me, it is a cultural thing. In the Indian subcontinent the senior citizens are treated as exactly that, a senior – who has been there and done that, and is a treasure trove of stories and anecdotes each of which are laced with priceless gems of wisdom for the younger folks. Whether at home or in the market a grandfather is a grand dad or ‘dadu / dada ji’  for everyone with no exceptions. The auto rickshaw wala, the green grocer, the fish vendor, the postman, the bank teller every one addresses him as ‘dadu’, offers him a place to sit, and does his work out of turn, and no one ever complains.

When I was training in Plastic Surgery overseas this respectful relationship with the senior citizens came to me naturally from my cultural roots but what I encountered was a cultural shock. While examining a 70-year-old man one of my friend offended what I, and I am sure the patient too, perceived to be childlike instructions “Sorry, you have to remove your sweater for me to take your blood pressure. I know its cold outside and you can put it back on right away.” I would have normally made a polite request “Sir, can you take off the sweater so that I can take your blood pressure” without sounding childish. Another instance when I was out in a café with my wife’s uncle the waitress exclaimed “Oooh, sweetee, let’s be careful with our coffee now. Is that hot? Is it HOTTT?” He knows it is hot, he has had plenty of hot coffee in his life. He is a senior ENT surgeon not a child in the kindergarten for heaven’s sake! He has been there and done that. He does not need these stupid childish instructions. By heaping them on him you are insulting his intelligence!

Talking to the elderly shouldn't include baby talk — it's not only condescending, it can cause cognitive harm. If there is one thing that older adults can't stand it is when others talk down to them. It is disrespectful and can be detrimental. You may mean well but seniors do not like it. They are seniors and they do not like to be treated as children. And no, old age is not a second childhood for them, they do not think so.

It was much later in life that I came to know that this pattern of speaking down to senior citizens has a name – Elderspeak. It occurs when an older adult is spoken to by health care workers, service personnel, neighbors or even family members as if he or she is a child with limited understanding.  Elderspeak sounds like baby talk or simplified speech and is, in fact, a symptom of how older adults are often perceived.

Elderspeak are speech patterns that indicate our perception that a person is less than productive, is somehow dependent. And this kind of speech segregates children and older adults and also people with disabilities from regular society. Such speech patterns also come into play with people we believe are impaired in their communication, either through hearing loss or a lack of ability to speak or form words.

 At its core, elderspeak communicates a condescending attitude.  And from that attitude the person’s language might demonstrate the following features of elderspeak:

 Speaking slowly

•  Speaking loudly
• Using a sing-song voice
• Inflecting statements to sound like a question
• Using the pronouns “we,” “us,” and “our” in place of “you.”: “How are we doing today?”
• Using pet names such as “sweetheart,” “dearie,” or “honey”
• Shortening sentences
• Simplifying syntax (sentence structure)
• Simplifying vocabulary
• Repeating statements or questions
• Answering questions for the older adult: “You would like your lunch now, wouldn’t you?”
• In other ways talking for the older adult: “You are having a good time on the patio today, I see. And you have your pink sweater on, which you love. Right?”
• Asking people questions that assume role loss, idleness and powerlessness such as “Who did you used to be?” “What did you used to do?”

I always felt that this type of talk pattern would be simply insulting to my grandfather:

• Elderspeak assumes that the older adult is dependent, frail, weak, incompetent, childlike, etc. and my grandfather was none of these.
• Elderspeak assumes that the speaker has greater control, power, value, wisdom, knowledge, etc than the older adult listening. Try this crap with grandfather who is no more or my mother in law who is 101, and you will surely be shown your place!
• Elderspeak assumes that all older adults equally suffer from memory problems, hearing problems, energy problems, etc. and nothing can be farther from truth!

Today science has shown that elderspeak does have a negative impact on older adults. Not only is this type of speech condescending and disrespectful, it can be damaging to their mental health and well-being. A researcher on a study on the effects of elderspeak by Yale University, Becca Levy, found that the practice “sends a message that the patient is incompetent, and begins a negative downward spiral for older adults who react with decreased self-esteem, depression and withdrawal.” Furthermore, those living with mild to moderate dementia can be even more negatively impacted by this type of language. In fact, these people may even become aggressive or uncooperative when elderspeak is used.  

Respect is undoubtedly important. While we in India respectfully address elders as ‘babu ji / ma ji’  or ‘dada ji / dadi ji’ asking older adults how they want to be addressed is not a bad idea. In India, the use of their first name demonstrates a lack of respect but that is not the case in the West, but one must not forget to prefix it with Mr./Ms./Mrs. At the end of the day, the way you speak to an older adult simply comes down to an issue of dignity. The seniors should not be belittled.

Many advertisements are targeting the senior citizens and their producers too should be sensitized. They seem to think they are honoring older adults by treating them as mascots. Many videos on social media feature adults who are “adorable” or “precious” dancing, singing, or doing other activities they have no doubt done for their entire lives. The videos are presented with the exact same attitude behind videos of kittens, puppies, and babies. How the hell do you intend to sell the stuff you are advertizing by offending the seniors? 

Speaking to older people the way we speak to any adult is really important. It’s important not to underestimate how powerful that is. These senior citizens still have a lot to give to the society. What they deserve is respect, not pity.