MISPLACED FEAR OF DEATH

Anand was one of the best Bollywood movies of yesteryear, directed by Sri Hrishikesh Muherjee and featuring two thespians Rajesh Khanna and Amitabh Bacchan. The character of the former was a cancer patient, Anand, in his terminal stage and the latter was his doctor and friend. Totally unafraid of the impending and certain death Anand says “Zindagi bari hi chahiye Babumoshai, lambi nahin” . Translated in English it means life should be big, but not necessarily long. And nothing can be farther from truth. Who know how long we will live, but we can live life King size so long as we are on this earth!

The truth about life is that it has to come to an end someday, and the fear of our own mortality can be overwhelming. When we’re young, we think that we’re going to live forever, but there are certain bumps in the road along our journey that makes us realize that we are in fact mortal. This could be a brush with death, seeing a relative or loved one pass away, being diagnosed with a difficult disease or just merely the passage of time. For almost anyone, death is a scary thing, and this is because there is so much living that we want to do first. In addition, it's a leap into the unknown, and this can most certainly lead to fear. No one has been there and back to tell us how it feels after death and so this is an unknown journey that scares most of us.

 

Thanatophobia, commonly known as the fear of death or Death Anxiety, is an intense and debilitating anxiety disorder. It can significantly impact daily life and lead to compulsive or avoidance behaviours to your loved ones related to death.

 

What Causes Thanatophobia

Here are some of the main causes of Thanatophobia.

• Personal mortality awareness or existential concerns about the nature of life and death.
• Traumatic experiences involving death, such as witnessing a loved one's death or experiencing a life-threatening event.
• Media exposure to death-related content, including news, movies, or documentaries.
• Cultural or religious beliefs and teachings that emphasize the significance or consequences of death.
• Inherited predisposition to anxiety or phobias, including a family history of anxiety disorders.
• Cognitive factors, such as negative thoughts and beliefs about death, the afterlife, or the unknown aspects of dying.
• Learned fears and conditioning through the association of death with negative or distressing experiences.
• Coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms manifest as fear or avoidance of death.
• Neurochemical imbalances or dysregulation in the brain contribute to heightened anxiety responses.
• Underlying mental health conditions, such as generalized anxiety disorder or panic disorder, that increase vulnerability to developing thanatophobia.
• Personal experiences with life-threatening illnesses, medical procedures, or near-death experiences.
• Existential crises are triggered by life transitions, significant losses, or contemplation of one's own mortality.
• Perception of death as a loss of control or uncertainty about what comes after death.

 

The After death beliefs

Some of us may have personal philosophies on what happens to us after we die, whereas others may not. Hindus, Jains and Sikhs talk of re-birth to the same or different species, depending upon our ‘karma’. The soul is reborn into a new body after death till we achieve moksha, liberation from the cycle of birth and death. Buddhism similarly talks of rebirth, till the ultimate liberation or nirvana. Christianity teaches that after death, believers will go to heaven or hell based on their faith and actions in life. In Islam, the afterlife is believed to consist of paradise (Jannat) and hellfire (Jahannam).

Judaism focuses more on the present life rather than the afterlife. The emphasis is placed on leading a righteous life and fulfilling one's purpose on Earth. Confucianism too focuses more on ethical teachings and social harmony rather than the afterlife. Taoism teaches the concept of immortality, where individuals can achieve eternal life through spiritual practices. In Zoroastrianism the soul is judged after death and sent to either heaven or hell based on its deeds in life. The ultimate goal is to reach heaven and be reunited with Ahura Mazda, the supreme deity. The Bahá'í Faith teaches the concept of the soul's journey through different spiritual realms after death. Mormonism, has unique beliefs regarding the afterlife; they have multiple levels of heaven, with the highest level known as the Celestial Kingdom.

The afterlife beliefs from different religions offer a fascinating glimpse into the diversity of our spiritual perspectives. While there are similarities in concepts such as heaven, hell, and reincarnation, each faith brings its unique understanding and interpretation of what lies beyond death. Exploring these beliefs can deepen our understanding of different cultures and foster respect for the diversity of human spirituality.

 

Regardless of how we think about death as individuals, there is significant change associated with it – going from a state of life into whatever there is beyond. As I’m sure you know, change in life can have elements of grief associated with it, no matter whether the change is positive or negative.

 

So what can be done to get over the fear of our own mortality?

The reality of life presents us with a stark choice. We can live out our days in a state of fear of the inevitable, or else we can decide not to worry about that which we have absolutely no control over. The only thing we can control is the present. Unlike in science fiction, time machines don’t exist, so there’s absolutely nothing we can do to change whatever it is that happened in the past. Similarly, although we can shape our future to a certain degree using the power of our thoughts, there are also many variables that are out of our control, so it clearly isn’t worth worrying about either.

Think of the future in terms of a car journey that went awry. Maybe you had to stop for gas, change a flat tire or ran into a detour. Despite those things changing your arrival time, you still managed to get there in the end, albeit later than you expected. Your future is the car journey, whereas the things that went awry along the way are simply the unexpected googlys that life can bowl at you. It’s incredibly sad to think that many people spend their entire lives failing to enjoy the present moment, the only thing that they have even a modicum of control over. They are  stuck in the past or worrying too much about what’s yet to come. Keep the present firmly at the forefront of your mind, because it is a present from God and you can only make the best of it. Spend this moment in the way that you want to, rather than adding it to your list of regrets. Friends and loved ones are priceless in our life's journey and we must never isolate ourselves from their company.

 

Making the best of the present moment

In a nutshell, you make the best of the present moment by making a point of being in the present moment. A fantastic example of this is your drive to work. Think about how many times that you arrive at your workplace with no conscious memory of the journey that you’ve just completed. This is because you were likely to be thinking about a hundred other things that you needed to finish on a given day. These incessant attempts at multitasking and thinking ahead are actually hastening people’s deaths. Imagine how many road accidents occur because a driver was distracted rather than focusing on driving! Making a point of being in the present, using the aforementioned example, will allow you to notice the scenery, changes to business and houses that you would never have noticed before, and many other little details that would have just passed you by.

 

Despite the emphasis on living in the present to dissipate fears of our own mortality, there are of course times where it’s okay to look back, or plan ahead. The key is not to get overwhelmed by regrets of the past or worries about the future, as that will lead you back to square one. Keep in mind that we are all mortal beings, but also keep in mind that life is far too short to be controlled by that which we have no control over at all! Last but not least, remember to be thankful for the opportunity you had to live life in the first place.