WHY SPENDING TIME ALONE MATTERS?

 

While humans are a social species who naturally crave relationships and social interaction, solitude can often be a necessary counter-balance to our busy and hectic social world. If you find yourself daydreaming about being alone on a deserted island, I’m going bet you aren’t incorporating enough alone time or “me time” into your life. Set aside a few minutes each day to be alone with your thoughts — just 10 minutes a day can help. Silence your electronics and allow yourself to think for a few minutes. If you aren’t used to solitude, it can feel uncomfortable at first. But creating that quiet time for yourself could be key to becoming the best version of yourself.

Spending time alone gives us a better understanding of who we are and what we desire in life. It also enables us to make better choices about who we want to be around. We also tend to become more appreciative of the relationships that we do have, and surely enhance their quality.

I have, in the past, written two blogs on the value of solitude and the subtle difference of being alone and being lonely. You can read them by clicking the following hyperlinks:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/02/the-value-of-solitud.html

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2023/04/being-alone-and-being-lonly-are-two.html

In another blog I had mentioned the value of idle relaxation in life and stressed the fact that it is certainly not equivalent to wasting time:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/06/idle-relaxation-is-not-wasting-time.html

Far too often these days, many people end up feeling overwhelmed, and thanks to social media it sometimes feels like there's no way to escape. However, it's extremely important to switch your phone off and get away from every other human being every so often. This is loneliness by your choice, solitude with a purpose, and not loneliness thrust upon you. Loneliness is a negative feeling of isolation, sadness, and is never by choice. But being alone and spending time with our own self is invariably by choice and it substantially adds to our mental growth. Alone time can be cultivated and made enjoyable and peaceful. 

So why do I choose to be lonely at times? It offers me the ideal period of silent emotional growth as I reconnect with myself. Being alone is never an idle moment, it is a time when I call out myself and seek answers, directions and explanations. Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques and an extreme form of spending time alone in complete solitude. It was popularized 2500 years ago by Gautam Buddha. Vipassana means "to see things as they really are". It is a logical process of mental purification through self-observation. There are many benefits of spending quality time with one’s self:

 

1. It fights stress

Being alone and feeling bored deactivates the areas in your brain that promote heightened awareness, which can help lower stress levels. Boredom helps calm your brain down and can help you regulate your emotions a lot better.

2. It helps me unwind

Spending time alone is a brilliant way to recharge my mind and body. This is how I feel most relaxed. 'Reading' comes in 2nd place and 'being in nature' comes 3rd.

3. It wards off depression

It may seem counterintuitive, but spending time alone has actually been found to tackle depression. Studies from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign revealed that the risk of depression is significantly decreased for those who enjoy spending time alone. Additionally, they also found that people who enjoy being alone are far less likely to suffer from depression at any point in their lives.

4. It boosts my mental strength

Many people get nervous when they have to be alone for a long time. However, we really should start to do it more often, since forcing oneself to sit through extended periods of solitude will fortify mental strength.

5. It makes me more compassionate

Solitude help people gain a better understanding of the struggles and experiences of others, which can help them become more sincerely compassionate throughout their lives.

6. It is creative time

If one wants to become more creative, then there's no better way than spending time alone. The more bored one gets, the more creative they become, since the human mind will start coming up with loads of different ways of keeping yourself entertained, and since one is alone there will be nobody around to distract. Without the need to care for or interact with other people, you can ignore outside influences and focus inward. Archimedes was alone in a bath tub when he discovered the principle of buoyancy, as he immersed himself in the tub the water level rose and it at once clicked! Eureka! He had discovered the Archimedes Principle! 

7. It makes me self reliant

If you always rely on others for assistance, opinions, and advice, then you might end up becoming partially-dependent on others, which won't allow you to become self-reliant. If I want to feel a sense of independence, I'll need to start making decisions on my own, which is something that spending time alone forces me to do.

8. It improves my concentration

Interruptions and distractions are an inevitable part of our day-to-day life, from the daily barrage of emails to friends and family messaging us to see when we're free to meet up. Setting aside some proper alone time will allows me to cut out most of these disturbances, letting me get on with the task at hand – write a paper or a blog, take a correspondence course on AI, devour a book or listen to my favourite music. Me time also improves my memory and concentration, and I invariably plan a better life.

9. It improves me memory

Spending time alone also boosts my memory. In fact, people remember the key details of tasks they completed by themselves in far more detail than those they completed with the help of others.

10. It strengthens my relationships

Being alone has helped me gain a better understanding of who I am. Such self-knowledge is absolutely essential if you want any of your long-term relationships to work out. After all, if you don't even understand yourself, how can you expect to truly understand the needs and desires of another person?

11. It improves personal exploration

Taking some time for myself allows me to explore my own passions, free from the pressures and judgments of others. Having time to myself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focous on yourself

But, it is not easy to be alone!

Solitude can be challenging for some people for a variety of reasons. 

• Lack of experience being alone: Some people might not be used to being alone because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected. 
• Distressing thoughts and feelings: In other cases, being alone and focusing inward can be difficult or even painful. People might find this introspection distressing or engaging in rumination and worry.
• Social stigma: Stigma about being alone can also shape how people feel about solitude. For those who have been exposed to negative attitudes towards being alone or who see it as a form of antisocial behavior or social rejection, solitude can seem like a painful form of punishment.

While loneliness by compulsion of  habits and circumstances can be very disturbing, the occasional ‘me time’ by choice is a wonderful thing.  If we are less likely to know our neighbours and less likely to have dependable friends the problem is with us; we are creating boundaries around ourselves and sequestrating ourselves into loneliness. Being alone, on the other hand, is an occasional choice which we make to recharge ourselves.

A HISTORY OF PERFUMES

 

If you happen to be a perfume aficionado, it’s likely that you already know the basics of the modern history of perfume. You know that Coty and Guerlain were the first companies to mass-produce perfume, you should know that Chanel No 5 smashed sales records and made perfume history, and you might even understand how the scents marketed by famous women such as Elizabeth Taylor and Katy Perry have defined the perfume markets for decades. However, the slick glass bottles and airbrushed celebrity campaigns of today’s perfume counters belie a strange history that dates back thousands of years – and involves chemicals derived from the butts of dead cats, the Plague and whale vomit.

 

The history of perfume is a lot more than the history of humans trying to smell nice – it’s a history that is filled with much strife and innovation. The ingredients that are used to create scents have historically been important for trade routes; high-class scents have always been used as a way to distinguish nobility from peasantry, and fragrance has been tied to expressions of religious devotion, cleanliness, and health precautions for most of the history of human civilization. A cuneiform tablet from Mesopotamia, dating back more than 3,000 years, identifies a woman named Tapputi as the first recorded perfume maker.

 

India

The history of perfume in India dates back to ancient times, as mentioned in the Vedas. Gandhasastra, a subdivision of Ayurveda, focused on the production of perfumes for both cosmetic and religious purposes. 

Kannauj, located in northeast India, is renowned as the perfume capital, where traditional oil-based perfumes called ‘attar’ are crafted using time-tested distillation methods. Ancient Indian perfumes were primarily made from natural ingredients such as flowers, herbs, spices, and essential oils, valued for their aromatic and therapeutic properties. The use of aromatic substances was widespread, reflecting the cultural and medicinal significance of perfumes in Indian society. This rich history highlights the deep-rooted connection between Indian culture and the art of perfumery.

 

I have, in the past, written a blog on Indian perfumes. To read it, please click: https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2017/10/you-smell-great.html

 

 

Ancient Egypt

The Egyptians loved perfume, and they used it for both ceremonial and beautification purposes: fragrance was believed to be the sweat of the sun-god Ra. They even had a god of perfume, Nefertum, who wore a headdress made from water lilies, one of the most popular perfume ingredients of the time. If you were a king or someone else of high status in Egyptian society, perfume would have been part of your everyday life, smeared on you in the form of scented oil to keep you smelling nice. At the moment, the University of Bonn is currently trying to recreate a pharaoh’s perfume from 1479 BC, based off its desiccated remains found in a flagon – chances are that it will be sticky and smell heavily of river botanicals and incense.

 

Egyptians imported huge volumes of perfume ingredients from Punt, a region of Africa which specialized in aromatic woods and myrrh. This was basically the equivalent of the United States and China striking a million-dollar trade deal for sandalwood.  

 

 

Ancient Persia

Ancient Persian royalty was heavily invested in perfume – so much so that in Persian art it was common for kings to be pictured with perfume bottles. The legendary rulers Darius and Xerxes are shown sitting comfortably with their perfume bottles and holding perfume flowers in their hands. The Persians dominated the perfume trade for centuries, and many believe that they invented the distillation process that led to the discovery of base alcohol. One thing we do know is that Avicenna, the Persian chemist, doctor, and philosopher, experimented extensively with distillation to try and make better scents, and was first to work out the chemistry behind perfumes that weren’t oil-based.

 

 

Ancient Rome

So many ancient Roman and Greek perfume recipes have survived that it’s actually possible to recreate ancient perfumes in our modern era. The ancient Greeks and Romans carefully documented their perfume-making processes. In fact, there’s even a mural in a perfume-maker's house in Pompeii that documents the process of making Greco-Roman perfumes. First the oils were made by pressing olives, then ingredients such as plants and wood were added to the oil using meticulous measurements, this was then left to steep so that the oil could take on the scent of the ingredients. Perfume was often used in ancient societies to bring believers closer to the gods. However, scents weren’t just used for religious purposes: they were everywhere. If we were to take a rough guess, by 100 AD Romans were using 2,800 tons of frankincense a year, and perfume was used in beauty products, public baths, and even on the soles of feet.

 

Ancient China

The ancient Chinese utilized scent by burning incense and fragrant material instead of wearing it on the body. Histories of the use of scent in Chinese society tend to emphasize that perfumes weren’t considered a cosmetic there; rather, they were used for disinfection and purity, as they believed they could eliminate diseases from a room. However, this isn’t to say that the Ancient Chinese didn’t wear perfume. In fact, according to Chinese chemistry historians, the period between the Sui and the Song dynasties was rife with personal perfumes, with nobles competing for the best scents and importing ingredients via the Silk Road. The big difference between this and other perfume traditions is that most Chinese perfume ingredients were used for other purposes such as food and medicine.

 

 

Medieval Europe

If you were anybody in Europe from the 1200s to the 1600s, you carried a pomander – a ball of scented materials, kept inside an open case, and used to ward of infections and bad smells. Since medieval Europeans believed that bad air could make you sick, these little balls were seen as life-savers. This whole idea of portable perfume seems to have popped up in the Middle Ages after Crusaders, returning from holy wars, brought back their enemies’ perfume-making secrets. Even though the idea of personal oil-based perfumes didn’t catch on, they discovered that castor, musk, civet, ambergris, and other animal-based products made great bases for scents to perfume their clothes.

 

The first alcohol-based perfume was created in this period too: it was known as Hungary Water, because it was believed to have been created for the queen of Hungary during the 14th century, and included distilled alcohol and herbs. If you were wondering what those animal-based ingredients above are, we hope you have a strong stomach. Musk is a secretion from the musk pod of the male musk deer, an organ used to mark territory; civet is a liquid from the anal glands of civet cats; castor is made from the scent glands of beavers; and ambergris is a grey oily lump found in the digestive system of sperm whales.

 

 

1400-1500s Italy

A serious breakthrough in perfume production came about in medieval Italy, when they discovered how to make aqua mirabilis, a clear substance made of 95% alcohol and imbued with strong scent. This was how liquid perfume was born. After this invention, Italy became the center of the world perfume trade for several centuries. If there’s one person who can be credited with bringing Italian perfume to France and the rest of the world, it’s Catherine di Medici, who as an Italian bride to the French king had a perfume made for her by her Italian perfumer, Rene le Florentine – a scented water with bergamot and orange blossom. He also created musk and civet-scented gloves for her. From there, things accelerated quickly: after a brief dip in perfume popularity in repressed Victorian England, synthetic compounds began to be discovered in the late 1800s, and the modern perfume industry was born.

 

Perfumes expire, you know and I wrote a blog on this - The expiry of your favourite perfume – a sad day. To read it, please click:

https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-expiry-of-your-favourite-perfume.html

GENERATIONNNNNNNN... GAP IN POLITICS

 

Do you always understand your children? On most issues in life - familial, social, political do you and your children think alike. If your answer is 'no', then naturally you do not have a right to claim that you represent your family. We belong to different generations, and we are not expected to think alike. This is generation gap.

A generation gap is the difference in outlooks, beliefs, behaviors, and interests that exists between people from different generations, particularly between younger and older people. These gaps arise from each generation growing up with distinct societal, technological, and cultural experiences. For example, the technological fluency of Millennials and Gen Z differs significantly from that of Baby Boomers, creating different perspectives on work, communication, and values. If you stretch it back to the grandparents then they are almost technology novices. So, though out of respect, the wedding invitation to a family is invariably addressed to the grandparents, if they start thinking that

India's median age is 28.4 years. Over 50% of 1.4 billion Indians are under the age of 25. Around 66% are below the age of 35. So, 650 million Indians are below 25 and 700 million below 35. But the average age of a MP in Lok Sabha is 58 and in Rajya Sabha is 61. Political parties prefer old established loyalists to young and energetic candidates to fight elections. So here we have a young nation being represented by old politicians, of grandparents' generation! How can young India expect their grandparent like politicians to understand their aspirations, feel their struggles, and give answer to their questions?

As if this dichotomy was not enough politics has long become the preserve of the powerful, abode of nepotism, the playground of the wealthy and the sanctuary of criminals. Young and enthusiastic are carefully kept out of this preserve lest they tilt the apple cart. If you can create trouble and inflict untold miseries on the public by jamming roads, flaming agitations, hurling insults to haloed institutions and individuals (Bharat tere tukre honge...' you become a precious sought after 'young turk' for political parties and get a rare entry ticket into the grandparents club. Otherwise, the youth is ignored.

Make no mistake, there are no dearth of plans for the betterment of the cause of youth with the government, but far from co-authoring these plans, the grandparents rarely ever consult them. Their representation remains symbolic.

The youth today fails to find a young and relatable political role model. The opposition's youth icon is approaching 60 and in the ruling party three young ministers lie in the periphery. Now if the young voters do not turn up in large numbers, can you blame them? They are being shamelessly used as vote mobilization tools for flooding the streets and the social media. They are all politically aware but electorally alienated.

I wonder if the only thing that will work to assure them their rightful inclusion in the parliament is a bill in line with the Women's Reservation Bill. Young people are needed in the election ticket and in leadership role, where they can shape electoral strategy. They should be part of the committee that drafts election manifestos for parties. The deserving ones should be fast-tacked into strategic campaign roles and not relegated to become sloganeering foot soldiers. The political parties should follow internal quota systems for women and youth and widely publicize it as their USP. This will attract the youth vote towards them.

How long can 65 year old law makers represent 25 year old voters without understanding their world, their issues, their ambitions and their aspirations?

BEFRIENDING A NARCISSIST AMERICA

 

U.S Secretary of States of Nixon era once famously said "The word will go out to the nations of the world that it may be dangerous to be America's enemy, but to be America's friend is fatal." How true that is can be experienced by all allies of the U.S, E.U, Japan, South Korea and the Gulf countries like U.A.E, Kuwait, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. This is a typical narcissist’s embrace, and India has kept herself miraculously out of it. Pressures are being mounted every day; we did not know that the Ukraine war was India’s war till the U.S told us. Though China, Europe and the U.S all keep doing business with Moscow, but it is India that is financing the war, and responsible for the killing of innocent Ukrainians!

According to Greek legend, a young man was so fascinated, awestruck, and enraptured by his own image reflected on the surface of a pool that he sat lovingly gazing at water’s edge for so long that he succumbed to his own vanity and eventually drowned and transformed into a flower that carries his name, “Narcissus.”

So, who is a narcissist? 

He or she is one who has

1.      A grandiose sense of self-importance
2.       A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3.       A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
4.       A need for excessive admiration
5.       A sense of entitlement
6.       Interpersonally exploitative behavior
7.       A lack of empathy
8.       Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
9.       A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Now that almost describes the current U.S. President.

There are phrases that narcissists use that can make you feel bad about yourself. These are not always obvious statements, because narcissists have an incredible ability to make a person feel completely worthless if they allow it and without you even noticing. The intention is that they are willing to go to particularly deep levels of negativity to do so and truly destroy you. These phrases are now often heard from U.S law makers and diplomats, and needless to say, they are hardly diplomatic.  

1. "I'm sorry you feel that way." This is not a genuine apology, even if it seems like one at first. When someone truly apologizes, they acknowledge what they did and don’t shift the blame. We told you to buy oil from Russia when it was convenient for us, but now it is not so you should stop. You think we are being unfair, "I'm sorry you feel that way." 

2. "You’re not worthy of our friendship." In a way, this statement is true – no one deserves a narcissist as a friend, and the largest democracy of the world most certainly not. When a narcissist uses this phrase, you should remember that the real intention is to diminish the other person’s / country’s value. Narcissists think they are above everyone else and deserve only the highest quality in everything and everyone. In their pursuit of perfection, they fail, succeeding only by manipulating people with self-esteem issues; remember the public humiliation of the Ukrainian President and then making him sign away the reserves of rare minerals of his country!

3. "If you didn’t upset me so much, I wouldn’t act this way." This is a familiar phrase that makes the other person feel guilty, even if they were just trying to protect themselves. Toxic people crave control because they are insecure. They also feel that every time they get angry, it’s because the person in front of them somehow provoked them. This is a manipulative pattern that serves only them. The only ones who manage to stay close to them are those willing to worship them and when they come across non-ass kissers like Modi they respond with 50% tariff. "If only India didn't upset me so much, I wouldn't put secondary sanctions against them."

4. "Why are you even friends with them?" This isn’t really a question but an insult toward your friends. Narcissists see themselves as the central figure in your life, and everyone else becomes insignificant in their eyes. Russia has been an all weather friend and always sided with India right from the days of liberation of Bangladesh, when the then U.S President had sent the USS Enterprise to the waters of Bay of Bengal to help a dictatorial Pakistan! And today they have the cheeks to tell us to dump Russia in a war that has nothing to do with us!! The best response is not to get dragged into explanations. Any attempt to justify your friendships with others will lead to further insults from them. So, it is best to ignore them.

5. "Be careful, you don’t want to lose me." This phrase is meant to evoke fear and anxiety. In the past, such a statement was indeed made reminding us of our difficult relations with China. India of the 21^st. century can very well manage its affairs with China, without any Western help. The truth is that what is really lost in such relationships is the self respect – the sense of personal worth of the leader and the country, and Modi is far more mature to fall for this crap. America needs the large Indian market of 1.4 billion people just as much as we need access to theirs’. The best thing is to lose the toxic person, and his cheer leaders because life will be much better without them.

6. "I did it for you." It’s important to be grateful for what people do for you, but there’s no obligation to accept gifts or actions that don’t suit or don’t bring joy. Even if the narcissist invested a lot of effort or money, you have every right to say, “Thank you, but I don’t want this.” No, Trump had no role in the cease fire after Operation Sindoor and if he is suffering from delusion of grandiosity and importance he needs treatment. India will not oblige and not recommend him for the Nobel Peace Prize.  

7. "If you loved me, you would…" This is one of the most common manipulative phrases. When you say “no” to a certain request, the narcissist responds by claiming it is proof of a lack of trust. In reality, everyone has the right to refuse what doesn’t suit them. There’s no need to prove affinity by constantly sacrificing our self. We are not paupers. We do not need American aid. We do not beg for American arms free of cost, we purchase them. We don’t need periodic bail out packages to run our economy and free food grains to feed our citizens. We feel it is far better to love ourselves, and if the situation doesn’t improve – seriously consider abandoning the relationship till better senses prevail in Washington.

The United States has long been past the point in our history where making direct connections between the policies of Hitler and his Nazis and those of Trump and his MAGA White supremist supporters are as clear and as relevant. These are two historical eras that were and are led by men with clear Sociopathic and Narcissistic Personality Disorders.

Hitler did and Trump is destined to drown by their narcissism. Hitler did not and Trump will not transform into a fragrant flower. The Indian response to his narcissist attack is the best response. The allies are bending far too much for his comfort. History will not pardon them and they will soon pay a heavy price when they go to the polls the next time. The war in Ukraine will be stopped by diplomacy and dialogue and not by threats, ultimatums and sanctions.

 

 

PRAISES AND COMPLIMENTS – EASY TO GIVE, DELIGHTFUL TO RECEIVE

I am back after enjoying a lovely conference in Cidade de Goa. Besides learning newer things, acquiring newer knowledge and familiarizing with newer technologies, these conferences are great occasions for reestablishing camaraderie and rekindling old friendship, as well as making exciting new ones too. It charges my batteries and I am all prepared to work with new vigor and excitement. But unfortunately, that is not the case with everyone! Some keep on complaining about easily ignorable problems, some are always concerned about imagined inter-personal issues, and they invariably are easily exhausted and in a hurry to leave. These people find it very difficult to see the good in anything and anyone ad they are a big miser when it comes to complimenting people.

 

We all love receiving compliments, even those of us who feel shy when we hear one. A compliment tells us that someone sees us, notices us, and finds good things in us. It signifies a strong connection, boosts self-confidence if we truly let it sink into our hearts, and accept it without resistance. We usually want to make our spouse or our friend or colleague feel this way, so we choose to compliment them when the opportunity arises. However, not everyone does it correctly. A compliment that proves you truly see the person in front of you, beyond their external appearance, is the best gift you can give them.

 

Why is it important to compliment non-external traits?

Compliment can improve mood and create a positive relationship, and focusing on non-external traits rather than physical appearance is always better. Of course, it's appropriate to compliment physical beauty as well, but the best compliments show appreciation for energy, passion, determination, strength, and kindness, traits that truly make the person special in our eyes. Here are some reasons why these compliments are more beneficial and important:

It highlights the person's qualities:  We often cannot significantly influence our physical appearance, and it doesn't truly define who we are. In contrast, traits like humor, empathy, determination, or intelligence shape our behavior and reflect our values, so they are more connected to who we really are.

It creates a deep connection: A compliment is a gift that's easy to give and delightful to receive. When you compliment someone on their character or abilities, you're essentially telling them that you're paying attention to them and not overlooking them. This helps strengthen your bond and encourages a relationship that's not superficial.

It lasts longer: Our appearance changes over time, especially how we look in certain clothes or hairstyles. But our character often remains the same throughout life, and as mentioned, it represents who we are much more. Therefore, such a compliment lasts longer in the recipient's mind, along with the positive feeling it generates.

It boosts self-esteem: Of course, compliments like "You look beautiful today" or "This beard looks great on you" boost confidence in our appearance. However, compliments that touch on character or abilities can do so on a much deeper level. They affirm who we are and what we're good at, truly helping to raise our self-confidence in everything we choose to do.

It encourages personal growth: When you compliment someone on the effort they've put in, their creativity, or problem-solving abilities, they will want to use those skills more and even develop them until they become an integral part of who they are, even if they don't feel these traits define them. Consistent compliments like these can be a significant source of motivation.

It is from the heart and it touches the heart: When you tell someone that “You are always smiling” or “You invariably look contended and at peace with life” it establishes a heart to heart hotline and the affection is unmistakable. Even if you meet once a year or even less frequently, it immediately reestablishes your friendship.

 

How to give unique and genuine compliments?

Try to figure out what you appreciate about the person. When you think of them, what is the first thing that comes to mind? How do they change the atmosphere in a room when they enter? How does their energy affect you? What about their personality makes your day? So, the best compliment shows appreciation for the unique things about the person you're complimenting.   Your compliments should be as focused as possible. Instead of giving a general compliment like 'You're so good' or 'You're amazing,' focus on specific actions or qualities you truly value and admire. Generalized appreciation often sounds hollow. For example, if your partner has an incredible ability to stay calm in stressful situations, you can say: "I really appreciate how you handled that today. You stayed calm, and it helped everyone else relax too." Such a statement highlights your partner's special ability, shows that you noticed it, and demonstrates your appreciation for its impact on you and others

 

Examples

If you need a bit more help coming up with ideas for non-appearance-based compliments, here are a few compliments you can use, tweaking them as needed to match your partner's unique personality:

1. You are so thoughtful—that's one of my favorite things about you.

2. You have such a calming effect on me.

3. Your joy is contagious.

4. You're so calm amidst all the chaos—it's amazing!

5. Your positivity is like sunshine on a rainy day.

6. You bring out the best in me.

7. You're the only person I can fully trust.

8. You're the glue that holds our family together.

9. You inspire me to give my 100% effort.

10. You have a way of explaining things that makes everything clearer.

11. You know how to tell every story in a captivating way.

12. You're so good at ____________

13. With you, even the most boring thing in the world can be fun.

14. You always know what to say to make people feel better.

15. You're such a great listener—that's why you understand me.

16. With you, I feel comfortable being myself. 17. You have a way of making everyone feel included.

18. Your creativity always amazes me.

19. Your passion for the things you love is incredible.

20. You are the kindest person I know, and I'm so lucky to have you in my life.

 

Compliment and Flattery are two different things alltogether

Flattery often contains excessive or insincere praise, aimed at winning someone's favor or attention. Compliment, in contrast, is an honest expression of admiration or approval regarding someone's quality or accomplishment. Flattery can sometimes be with ulterior motive and be seen as manipulative, as it can be utilized to sway someone's opinion or decision. A Compliment, in its genuine form, does not seek to manipulate but simply acknowledges something positively. It lacks hidden agendas, being an authentic appreciation. That is the reason why flattery might sound over-the-top or overly effusive, while a compliment sounds heartfelt and sincere.

 

 

In today's world, many people place too much emphasis on physical appearance, while what we often lack are internal sources of positive feelings. You can provide such a source for your spouse by saying, "I notice who you are, your true self, and I think you're amazing!" Whether it's their sense of humor, kindness, or the way they handle stressful situations, a compliment on such a character trait can truly impact their inner feelings and your relationship. So, don't hesitate to give a compliment—it doesn't cost you anything, but its value is priceless.

RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY IN LIMB TRAUMA

On June 30, 2025 I had the opportunity to share my experience with the students and teachers of Balaji Medical College in Chennai. Dr. Manimaran had organized the meeting and the audience hd MBBS and M.S General Surgery students. 

We divided the topic of Reconstructive Surgery in Limb Trauma into:

1. Limb Salvage surgery

2. Like for Like Tissue Reconstructions

3. Funstional Muscle transfers

4. Replants and Revascularizations

5. Dermal Substitutes

6. Documentation

7. Physiotherapy

As we were addressing the students and not our peers, at times we indulged in over-simplification. If you would like to see the presentation please click the following hyperlink / icon:

surajit batacharya 2.mp4

 

EVEN FOOD AND BEVERAGE HAVE A HISTORY

 

The roots of food and beverage can be traced back to ancient civilizations where early humans relied on hunting and gathering. As communities settled, they began to cultivate crops and domesticate animals, leading to more organized food production. This transition marked the beginning of agriculture, which laid the foundation for the food industry as we know it today. The history of food and beverage spans thousands of years, evolving from early agricultural practices to a complex global industry influenced by culture, technology, and societal changes. In one of my previous blogs I had traced the history of Biryani and you can read it by clicking: https://surajitbrainwaves.blogspot.com/2020/02/biryani-fantasy-dish-for-all-palates_32.html

When you are eating your favorite snack, do you ever wonder how it came into existence? Well, most of us don’t, right? But their history is often very interesting. A series of events may have led to the creation of a particular food item, so will it not be interesting to find out? Who was that genius who thought of making a sandwich for the very first time? Or who brewed the first beer? These are all interesting questions, and if you dig a little deeper, you would be surprised with the answers you get. Some of these food items have a bizarre history and some were discovered purely by accident.

1. Tea

Tea is undoubtedly one of the most famous drinks in the world. It’s stimulating and calming effects make it an ideal drink to have in the morning or in the afternoon. The English introduced it in India and cultivated it in the eastern province of erstwhile Bengal. The history of tea is replete with several myths and legends. According to Chinese lore, the history of tea began in 2737 BC when Emperor Shen Nong, an eminent ruler and a scientist, discovered tea by accident while sitting under a tea tree. The story goes that the emperor was boiling water and a few leaves from the tree fell down into his pot. When Shen Nong took a sip of the drink, he enjoyed the taste immensely. Later on, the emperor began researching the plant further and discovered the many wonderful medicinal properties of tea that eventually made its way into Chinese medicine before evolving into a modern drink. Though difficult to prove this story but it is a fact that the tea plant originated somewhere in southwestern China, Tibet, and Northern India.

 

2. Coffee

The story behind the origin of coffee is quite fascinating. While no one knows exactly how or when coffee was discovered, there are many legends about its origins. The most popular and widely accepted one is about its discovery in the ancient coffee forests on the Ethiopian plateau. The legend says that a goatherd called Kaldi was the first person to have found the unique properties of coffee beans. According to the story, Kaidi noticed his goats being unusually energetic after they ate berries from a certain tree. In fact, the animals were so energized that they couldn’t sleep at night. Curious to find out more, the goatherd reported his findings to the monks of a local monastery. They went on to make a drink with the berries and realized that coffee helped them stay up to perform their prayers late at night. Soon, knowledge of the energizing berries began to spread and coffee became a popular drink throughout the world.

 

3. Popsicles

Popsicles, the refreshing frozen treats, were discovered unintentionally by an 11-year-old boy in California named Frank W. Epperson. The year was 1905 and Epperson, while making lemonade soda on his porch, left it out and went to sleep. However, when he woke up the next day, he was surprised to find the stick he was using to stir the mixture had frozen upright in the liquid. The young boy, thrilled with his accidental creation, named it "a handled, frozen confection or ice lollipop." He applied for a patent for his unique discovery in 1924 and changed its name to ‘Popsicle’.

 

4. Potato Chips

This tasty and salty snack was invented by American Chef George Crum by accident in 1853. Back then, French Fries had become quite famous in the masses and were in high demand at the Moon Lake Lodge in Saratoga Springs in New York, where Crum worked. One day, an angry customer complained to the chef that his French fries were too thick.To pacify the man, Crum sliced a batch of potatoes really thin, fried and salted them, and sent them out. This time, the customer was thrilled, and in no time, the word about the crunchy fried potatoes had spread throughout the city and then the entire country. Thus, potato chips were born and went on to conquer the world.

 

5. The Sandwich

Sandwiches are loved so much because they come in so many varieties. While it’s impossible to say who was the first person to cut their bread and put a piece of meat or cheese between two slices of bread, the credit for the sandwich’s initial popularity goes to John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich. Yes, you read that name right. Montagu was a British aristocrat who lived in the 18th century and was heavily into gambling.Interestingly, the earl didn’t like taking breaks while gambling, and during one intense gambling session, he ordered the cook to bring him some meat slices placed between two pieces of bread. He enjoyed this snack as the bread stopped his hands from getting greasy and he could continue playing the game without interruption. While many historians have questioned the legitimacy of this story, it is widely believed that Montagu's refusal to get up for a meal resulted in the discovery of the sandwich.

 

6. Corn flakes

This popular breakfast cereal was discovered by accident, too. The story goes that while working in a sanitarium in Michigan, W.K. Kellogg, the founder of the Kellogg Company, attempted to make granola as a healthy vegetarian treat for some patients at a sanatorium at Battle Creek that he ran with his brother.While making the dish, W.K. Kellogg and his brother accidentally left wheatberry cooking in the kitchen and found later that the kernels had flaked. The brothers kept on experimenting with cooking different grains and eventually flaked corn, thus creating a recipe for corn flakes that they really enjoyed. The cereal became the most loved morning meal worldwide and today its numerous variations can be found everywhere.

 

7. Nachos

The famous Mexican snack is credited to Ignacio “Nacho” Anaya who was the head waiter at a restaurant called the Victory Club in Piedras Negras, Mexico. One afternoon in 1943, a group of military wives from the US had crossed the border into Mexico from the Fort Duncan Army base to do some shopping.In the evening, they came to the Victory Club restaurant to have a meal but were disappointed to find that the chef had left. Anaya didn’t want the women to leave and decided to prepare something new - covering a plate of tostadas with grated cheese, passing it through an oven while heating the plate from above, and then adding a few sliced jalapeño peppers as a topping. The women adored the dish and one of them dubbed it “Nacho’s especiale” (“Nacho’s special”). Later on, it was shortened to just ‘Nachos’ and came to be the well-known snack we all recognize today.

 

8. Chocolate Chip Cookies

In the year 1930, an American woman named Ruth Wakefield was mixing a batch of cookies for her roadside inn guests when she found that she had run out of the baker's chocolate she generally used for making them. To compensate, Wakefield added broken up pieces of Nestle's semi-sweet chocolate instead. She hoped that the chocolate would melt and absorb into the dough to create chocolate cookies. The chips didn’t spread. However, when Wakefield removed the pan from the oven, she found that she had accidentally created chocolate chip cookies. The guests loved the chocolate chip cookies, and it became Wakefield's specialty, which she called "Toll House Crunch Cookies”. The recipe for the cookies was published in a Boston newspaper and shortly afterward, chocolate chip cookies became the most popular variety of cookies in America. It didn't take long for this delicious recipe to reach different parts of the world as well.

 

9. Beer

Beer is the oldest recorded recipe in the world! The brewing process was first documented by the ancient Egyptians on papyrus scrolls around 5,000 BC. These first beers were blended with a mixture of such ingredients as dates, pomegranates, and other indigenous herbs. Their taste is likely to have been quite bitter and harsh. It is said that the Egyptians consumed these beers during religious ceremonies. Even before the Egyptians, however, the ancient cultures of Mesopotamia are believed to have been the first brewers way back in 10,000 B.C. Historians say that when the Mesopotamians began storing grains for bread, their storage spaces would at times become damp, causing the grains to ferment. This fermentation process led to the creation of the earliest beer.

The history of food and beverage is thus a rich tapestry woven from cultural, technological, and societal threads. From ancient agricultural practices to the modern globalized market, the industry has undergone significant transformations, reflecting the changing needs and preferences of societies throughout history. Understanding this history provides valuable insights into our current food systems and culinary practices. By exploring the evolution of food and beverage, we can appreciate the intricate relationship between culture, technology, and the way we nourish ourselves.

Temples in ancient India always offered ‘prasad’ which was either a combination of fruits or even cooked food. The emergence of inns and restaurants in the 18th century marked a significant development in the food and beverage industry. The first known restaurant, opened by Boulanger in 1765, served restorative soups and laid the groundwork for modern dining establishments. By the late 18th century, restaurants began to offer menus and individual dining experiences, transforming the way people consumed food. 

 

The spice trade played a significant role in shaping global food culture, introducing new flavors and ingredients across continents. The exchange of culinary traditions was further enhanced by exploration and trade routes, which allowed for the sharing of diverse cooking techniques and food preservation methods. 

 

The Industrial Revolution in the 18th and 19th centuries brought transformative changes to food processing and preservation. Innovations such as canning, developed by Nicolas Appert in 1809, and pasteurization, introduced by Louis Pasteur, revolutionized food safety and extended the shelf life of products. These advancements facilitated mass production and distribution, making food more accessible to the growing population. 

 

The mid-20th century saw the rise of fast food chains and standardized dining experiences, catering to the demand for convenience and affordability. This shift marked a significant change in eating habits and the overall food landscape. Today, the food and beverage industry continues to evolve, influenced by globalization, health trends, and sustainability concerns.